Small Talk Act II

ACT III
Lights up. A new scene. Interior – inside a bus. Ted and Lynn are seated. The seats are in doubles, but they sit in their own two seats, some distance apart and at opposite sides of the bus, separated by the aisle. They are both hunched up again the windows next to them, gazing out. They wear earphones. There is a hanging silence, as would be on a bus of strangers. It is morning, and this is their journey to work. They both yawn sporadically, as the engine of the bus hums to fill the silence between them. This situation continues for a few moments. Ted looks at his watch, and yawns. Lynn begins to nod off yet is woken up by the shaky ride.
The bus stops, and the distant doors squeak open. The outside patter of rain can be heard momentarily, before the doors close again. We hear engine rev and the bus continues its journey.
A man enters the scene. We assume that he is drunk by observing his staggered walk. In his left hand he holds a can, while he uses his right to maintain his balance. He seems to take an age to find a seat, eventually sitting down in the seat right next to Lynn. She despairs at his decision, rolling her eyes and sighing.
JONESY: (In slurred speech, holds out his hand for a handshake) Jonesy.
Pause.
LYNN: (Disturbed) I’m sorry?
JONESY: (Struggling) My name’s… Jonesy. Though my real name’s… G…Gary.
Ted takes out his earphones momentarily, and looks over with interest, briefly.
LYNN: (Very reluctantly shaking hands) Pleasure…
Pause. Lynn looks out the window muttering in distress.
JONESY: What’s your… name?
LYNN: (Annoyed) Um… Lynn.
JONESY: (Shouting) WHAT!?
LYNN: Lynn…?
Pause. They lock eyes. Ted looks over once again but he chooses not to interfere, and carries on in his own world.
JONESY: (Smiling at Lynn) Oh right… didn’t know that.
Jonesy begins to laugh drunkenly, and Lynn tries to ignore him. His laugh becomes louder.
JONESY: (Again slurring) Do you know what I do know about you though?
Lynn looks at him, concerned.
JONESY: You always get on this bus at the same time, at the same… place. And you always get off it at the same… time and same place. Every single… day.
Pause. Lynn looks out the window again.
JONESY: Apart from weekends.
LYNN: (With a sigh) Yes…
JONESY: ‘Cos you only work on weekdays!
LYNN: (Humouring him) Yes…
JONESY: Don’t you think that’s… amazing?
Pause.
LYNN: Yes…
JONESY: I’m not workin’ anymore… (He takes a swig from his can.) But I still know you. I still know you do this. (He takes another swig.) And do you know what else I know… about you?
Lynn rolls her eyes, doesn’t respond and continues to gaze out the window.
JONESY: You’ve got a cracking pair, like. (He grins.)
Ted looks over, showing concern. He reluctantly gets up to confront the man, but no one notices him. He sits back down, and looks torn by his decision, but he continues to monitor the situation.
Jonesy suddenly turns round and sees Ted looking at him. Ted pretends he hasn’t been. Jonesy struggles to get up, and stands in the aisle, looking at Ted.
JONESY: You too… I know things about you as well. Same as her. Not so much the tits, but same routine, like.
He holds out his hand towards Ted, but Ted refuses and ignores him.
JONESY: (Offended and angry) Aww, what!?
Before he says anything else to Ted, the bus grinds to a halt. Jonesy falls over and lies in the aisle. He struggles to get up, but eventually succeeds.
JONESY: Here’s my stop. See you again sometime…
Jonesy puts his hand on Lynn’s shoulder and goes in for a kiss. Lynn, unsurprisingly, refuses his advances and pushes him hard towards the aisle. He attempts to straighten himself up, and staggers down the aisle. He turns back, slowly and drunkenly.
JONESY: (Gesturing at Ted and Lynn) I know you… I know you and you know me! And you both know each other! Don’t you… forget it. (He smiles)
Jonesy exits, the engine revs, and the bus resumes its journey. Pause. Ted looks over towards Lynn, and, after catching her eye, tuts and sighs, presumably with reference to Jonesy. She reciprocates. They both then turn back towards the window. Pause.
Ted takes out his earphones. So does Lynn. They fiddle with the iPods which their earphones are attached to, mumbling and cursing in distress. Eventually, they both realise the other has the exact same problem.
TED: (Nervously) Bloody things!
LYNN: Yeah… (mumbled laughter)
Pause. The rain stops. Ted stand up and opens his window.
TED: Time for some fresh air, I think. (He sits down.)
Lynn gets up and does the same.
LYNN: Get the smell of stale booze out of here… (She sits down.)
TED: (Laughs) Yes.
Pause.
LYNN: You seem familiar…
TED: (Laughs) Well, that’s because I am… uh… I’m sat here every morning, on the way to my work.
LYNN: Yes, I know, of course!
Pause.
LYNN: I guess that guy did have a point, after all.
TED: What do you mean?
LYNN: Well, he was saying… or what I could make out… we know each other quite well, really. This part, anyway. Where we’ve come from, where we’re going…
TED: (Nods.) True! We’ve spent about 40 minutes on this bus together every day, for about a year now!
LYNN: So we have! I’ve noticed you wear blue shirts on Wednesdays…
TED: Black on Mondays, beige on Fridays! Any other day is anyone’s guess!
They both laugh.
TED: And you? (Thinks.) Purple on Mondays, pink on Tues-
LYNN: (Correcting him) Claret, actually, on Mondays…
They laugh again. Pause.
LYNN: (Reflecting) Yes, strange that. And to think all that time has been spent without knowing your name!
TED: (Smiling) Ted. (Stands up and leans over for a handshake.)
LYNN: Lynn! You know, 40 minutes every single day… for about a year?
Ted nods. He sits down on the seat next to Lynn.
LYNN: If that much time hadn’t been on a bus, as strangers… we’d probably be married by now!
They laugh agreeingly.
TED: (Reflecting) A silent intimacy.
Pause. Lynn fidgets with her iPod, as does Ted.
BOTH: (In unison) Seems to be working, now…
They chuckle.
TED: Yes I think mine works when it wants to.
Pause.
LYNN: (Reflecting) They’re a marvellous invention, really…
TED: Why’s that?
LYNN: Well… just… they make you seem otherwise occupied? Like you’re… too busy to talk. You know?
TED: (Bluntly) I know.
Pause.
TED: (Eagerly) Yes, yes… I suppose they’re a tool to keep you from feeling like you should be talking to strangers, yes! And it usually works… apart from with that guy Jonesy!
LYNN: Exactly! They sure don’t protect against eye contact.
TED: Isn’t it ridiculous, essentially…
LYNN: (Sighs) Yes, it is…
TED: … That we behave like this…
LYNN: Like there’s some barrier between us, some obstacle in the way!
Ted hums in agreement. Long pause.
TED: (Shivers) Do you mind if I shut the window now?
Lynn shakes her head. Ted promptly stands to pull his window shut, and Lynn does the same. Turning to Lynn, he has something else to say, but she’s already got her earphones back in. Seeing this, he looks awkward for a moment, standing in the aisle.
TED: Uh…
Ted shuts his window, and returns to his seat. Prolonged pause.
The bus stops once more, and they both rise from their seats, not acknowledging one another. Ted emerges into the aisle and bumps into Lynn, who is doing the same. They lock eyes very briefly and awkwardly, as strangers once again. They make their mutual exits. The sounds of the bus engine ascends, and the lights fade to black.
Lights up again. Exterior – outside the bus stop. Silence. Suddenly, Lynn emerges from stage right, dragging with her a pull-along suitcase. She walks across the stage, and exits stage left. Lights down. Lights up. Ted emerges from stage right, holding a briefcase. He walks across the stage, and exits stage left. Lights down. Lights up. Lynn emerges from stage left, walks across the stage, and exits stage right. Lights down. Lights up. Ted emerges from stage left, walks across the stage, and exits stage right. Lights fade to black.