After the silence

the ground
almost swallowed those moments in which
my mouth was closed as a zipper is closed
with threads
in a ritual adapted
by two or three men
with dicks enough to rape me, shutting
my mouth for saying the wrong things,
being overly politically incorrect,
indelicate, only
they did not know
my boyfriend had planted a child within...
I was contemplating suicide already.

I was a dirty lesbian in their eyes...
a slit-eyed dessert,
I could hardly say anything.
They had taken me so hard, taken me in...
taken me out...
I forgave them
I could imagine bats flying out of my womb.

Now I am a spirit, wandering the yard,
wondering where the truth went.
They mold you so hard
embellish you, show you off
as a victory, then
a picadillo will land you,
make you know your place.
There is no justice in this world,
just temporary success
til your lies consume you.

For so many years, I was bitter
as a spirit, but now
I begin to understand...
only God is your witness.