All-American 3

I, Derek Kim, am in class. The teacher asks a question. I raise my hand. I am confident. I am answering her question in clear sentences, and then, I become confused. I do not know what I am saying. I start to say things like "um" "um" and "like" and "like." I start to sweat and then look around nervously. I seems like everyone is laughing at me. My face begins to break apart like parts of a puzzle.It hurts so much. I want to scream. I see some glue. I try to piece my face back together, but it's useless.

My eyes open. 

-Riley.

-What?

-I was having a nightmare.

-Just go back to sleep. You think too much.

-Riley, why are you going out with me? Is it because you pity me?

-Derek, is that what you think? That I pity you? No, I really like you. I like you because you are not like them. You are actually a very sensitive, good person.

-In my nightmare, my face was falling part while I was trying to answer a question from a teacher. I guess that's what Koreans call "losing" face. Whenever I feel like I'm losing face, I just want to kill someone.

-Is it that important to you? Just tell them to fuck off. 

-Sometimes, in the locker room, you know, my friends are just joking around and they imply...

-that you have a small penis. Does that bother you so much? Why does that bother you so much?

(She sits up on the bed and so does Derek).

-Cause they are saying that I am less of a...

-man than they are. So tell them to fuck off. Here... you see this middle finger, point it to the sky. There.

-It's so simply for you Riley, isn't it?

-You shouldn't hang around guys who make you feel so self-conscious. Look, you buy kegs of beer for them. You even help them with their homework and that's the way they treat you? Well, fuck them, I say.

-You really don't care.

-I do care. I care very much for you. You see, I lived in South Korea for a few years. My father spoke Korean and taught Korean History in Seoul. At first, I could not stand Seoul. Everyone looked the same and everyone seemed so busy. Over time, I began to understand the culture little by little.

-What did you understand?

-I don't know.

-What do you mean you don't know? You just can't stop in the middle of a sentence.

-Why not?

-Riley, you kill me. You are so funny.

-Why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow? You can meet my parents.

-I would very much like that.