Do you FEEL accepted

accepted now that
you're fabulously wealthy, able
to buy anything you want?
did the sting of social rejection leave you?
do you feel beautiful now
after so many plastic surgeries?
do you feel normal?
isn't it great?
it's what you've always wanted and isn't happiness
getting what you want?

do you have a home now
that your house is a celebrity,
a crib filmed and envied
featured and goggled over, do you feel
like you are elite?

what were you searching for? a lost love
who ditched you because his parents
threatened to disown him if he
dated you? a lost star swimming with the doves
in the mystic night?
the moon flowed down the airs
wining down the throat when
you were so thirsty?

now you love BMWs or Mercedes
after all you're so special, being
so near to God,
excluded from mere, tunnel vision
you see
both sides of the toilette?

were you searching for that spark of passion
when you saw Garbo on film
and lyricized it, almost amused
by her lack of humor?
were you even slightly in love with her?
were you searching for that passion for justice
sparked by a fury
too little to blow out?
as the passion grew and grew
you wished to fuck the world but stopped
knowing, you
were a singer, lulling lullabies
to the flesh
sublimating your passion,
dreaming of God as the center
as the light at the center of your society
knowing all, all powerful, all good but not
all loving?
his light feeding all who faced him
with completely open eyes,
emotional overdrive leading to spiritual
fission?
were you searching for moments of complete being
in which Buddhism and your religion were one
in Einsteinian irony?
your internal monologue
burning and burning like a bush
and illuminating your soul?

you wanted to know how it was done,
how we animals were turned into angels?
you wanted to know how emotions and tears
and deep sorrows shelved in silence
in mute fury at a world that cared NOTHING
about justice
you wanted to know
how we were turned into spiritual smiling beings
frozen by our own good and evil
our mixed bag ambivalence
mirrors of dark and white.

do you feel accepted now
that you are nothingness,
irrevelent modifications,
humanized robots?

NO, you feel robbed
of your true self,
the one who illuminated souls
lighted pain on fire
BACK into passion, NO
you feel the love of justice
that turned into rotten anger
killing you, turning you into an alcoholic
for having lost the fight.
NO, you feel tricked by those
who called you genius, then
asked you to solve their problems
after all
immortals cannot have any problems
and those
who see themselves at the center
see themselves
as not mortal?

you see
it is better
to take off the mask
before bed.