Impressions of South Korea: Work Ethic 3

His words hurt me. My father-in-law has said that his words are like bitter medicine that heals.

My father-in-law wants to thoroughly clean the salon floor. He wants to strip it, seal it, and add a finish to it. I just don't want to do it. That's not something that I should be doing. I am Vice-President of this small company. Why should I be doing such things? He asks me, "Then who does it?"

I've tried to find a place to clean the salon floors for a reasonable price. Our salon space is comparatively small. Most estimates have come in at around $300-$500.

He asks me to find a place to rent a buffer. I go to Home Depot and they don't do it. I don't go anywhere else. After about a week, I find a small buffer for sale at a vaccum specialty store. The buffer is cute and not too heavy.

He wants to clean the salon floors, one after another. I don't like this idea, but I go along with it. I just want to get it over with. We start with the location closest to our condominium.

At first, I'm excited about using an Oreck buffer. He pours the mixture of water and cleaning solution on the floor, and I use the rotating wooden brush of the buffer to clean the floor. I feel like I am using a lightweight lawnmover. I could get used it this. I clean the floor once.

He takes the buffer from me. He begins to use it. He goes over certain areas over and over again. He pours the solution over certain spots. He looks intensely at the floor, trying to figure out if the floor is getting cleaner.

Now, the Oreck buffer has an attachment at the base that comes off. There is a brush attachment that cleans dirty spots on the floor and a clothe attachement that shines and buffs. The floor that we were cleaning was a stone-tile floor.

"It's not a very good machine, is it?" he asks me.
"No, it's not," I answer. He continues to clean the floor with the Oreck. Then he mops certain areas. Sometimes, he gets on the floor with a dirty rag and cleans. I just watch him, helping him out now and then. What was the point of doing anything? Nothing that I did was good enough for him.

After about 2 or 2 1/2 hours, it's over. I don't have much to say to my father in law. He is tired from working and I am tired of being judged. I don't remember how I slept that night.

In the morning, my father-in-law gets up at around 5:30 or 6:00. He walks around the entire golf course surrounding our condominium. He also reads the Bible, vaccums, does the dishes, cleans the furniture, and goes on the internet. I get up at around 8:30 and I still feel tired.

Sometimes I think about how I've lost so much of my motivation. There was a time when I used to treat my employees as friends. I would have dinner with them twice a year. I would listen to their problems. I had a very difficult time in high school so I tried to understand the problems of Americans. I treated my employees as friends because I did not like the way that my mother treated the employees. I was also sick of all the talk about Americans in my family. I felt that it was an unfair accessment.

I also had no friends. I lead a rather isolated life.

Sometimes, I would come into work early and discover someone at work who was not supposed to be there. Sometimes I would discover a fifty dollar bill right next to the register and the employee would say something like, "Oh, I didn't know that that was there." Most employees will try stealing around $20 the first two weeks that they are at work. If there are no consequences, they move on to bigger sums. I am not saying that all employees are bad. There are certainly good employees.

Some of the things employees have said about my mother, I refrain from repeating. When the veneer of niceness disappears and people really express their thoughts, you begin to realize that you need to keep an appropriate distance... that you are a hyphenated American, a Korean-American.

In 2003 or 2004, there was one girl who worked at our store. One day, my brother informed me that another employee had fingered her as a thief. She had been selling products to her friends for far less than their worth. I had always treated this girl kindly and I didn't want her to get in trouble. So when she came into work, I was tough with her. I cut her hours and gave her a warning after she did not do a task as I specified. I was hoping that she would quit.

She did quit but she also sued our company for age discrimination. All of the other employees wrote letters that they had not seen any form of age discrimation on my part. My brother helped me out greatly during this period. The case came to nothing, but there is something that sticks out. These people are manipulating the shame culture of Asians. They are trying to make me lose my face.

Is this why I am so tired? Is this why I have no motivation? My father-in-law is so much healthier than I. My hatred is turning into secret envy.