Lead me

Lead me Lord into the path of righteousness,

where the pastures are green with life,

where the pastures are like beds which give deep sleep.

Wicked I was.

I complained that life was unfair!

God had not made me handsome, intelligent or cunning...

instead I felt like the useless, average Joe.

I wanted so much to be apart of the world,

I wanted so much to have the confidence of football stars,

I wanted so much to be tall and to be American and to have large eyes.

One day, I got a letter saying I did not belong in this country.

I felt so ashamed. I had wanted so much to be American.

I was so ashamed of being Korean.

What was I now? I wasn't anything at all.

For some stupid reason, I scapegoated women.

I treated some of them very disrespectfully, and I apologize

deeply.

I did not know what to do with all this self-hate

that was inside of me like a volcano.

Like a time bomb I walked around,

Like someone who had become an animal

no longer trying to fit into society,

believing somehow he was better than others.

I ask you Lord, lead me, lead me

back into your fold of sheep

who luxuriate in your spiritual pastures.

I know I am undeserving, but the blood of Christ has paid for my sins.

Please Lord, show me the way to the narrow gates

of your kingdom.