Lord, do not hate me cause

i'm a hypocrite, i was so envious
of wealthy white people, i dolized them, they
were so beautiful and so in the center,
i wanted so much to be a part of their group
even if i had to demean myself
make a fool of myself, lord, now
i have lost touch with you, lost you
heart and soul, wanted so much
to be with you once again, to have a special
relationship with you.

but now, i find myself detestable
having lost the rope to the absolute,
accepting almost everything, just marginalizing
what i hate or dislike...
i've become like a god, wanting
someone to approve and seal my values
which is nothingness.

lord have pity on me
give me my heart
and give me my soul, break me
take me into your bosom
let my heart beat with yours,
let my love be yours
do not make me like these fools
who are stripped individuals
lead to believe that they are gods
by ironic corporations.

lord
forgive my sins for i find it hard
to forgive myself
find it hard to love myself
having learned to compromise myself away,
lord, forgive me
and soften my heart and give it the soul of wings
turn my desire into the holy spirit
and my body into your temple lord.

punish me
for my sins
but help me to forgive
my repeated sins
which are the echoes of my rebellious freedom.