Stone, unreal

For a while, it hurt like hell
every night I lay with tears to accompany me,
slowly driving
then I awoke one day
to discover I was not human,
my parents were sheep,
I was a sheep.

They all looked unreal, almost like a dream
and their penis eyes, I could not stand
they would flare up with anger
if I was not like everyone else, following orders.
I looked down, trying to forget.

there was a time when they loved us.
they would come over for dinner and discuss
physics and philosophy, I
listened with attentive ears
trying to learn.

there was a time
when I envied them, now
I am a small sheep,
a lamb.

the smoke, the smoke
rose when my parents' numbers disappeared,
they didn't tell me anything, they laughed
and spoke of rumors.

i must go on i must go on
but where?

i must go on i must go on
but home?

i cannot say when it started
when i stopped believing in God
when the silence bacame unbearable
my dreams
filled with spirits, i cannot say
when it became impossible
for me to smile
for me to laugh
and the permanent pain
like stone.