The Silliest Six

There was a pretty but daft lady who had not married at 37 years of age on account of being so silly. But one day a fellow did come along to court her. Her mother sent her down to the cellar to draw a draught of beer for the man while he waited. When she got there she went and sat down thinking deep thoughts to herself while leaving the beer tap running. What would she call her child when she married the fellow; all the names of the saints were already taken. When she took too long about her chore her mother became worried and went to look for her. She found her daughter sitting on the cellar steps and asked what the matter was. ‘I was wondering what to call my children as all the names in the calendar are already taken.’ she replied. ‘Then I shall sit to solve the problem with you.’ said her mother. Now it took longer than ever, so much so that her father had to go and look for them both after a while. He found them sitting in the cellar with the beer running all over the floor thinking deeply. ‘What have you been doing for so long?’ he asked his wife and daughter. ‘We must decide what to call our daughter’s children once she is wed. All the names have already been chosen.’ So the man sat down with them in the flowing beer and sat and pondered the matter with them. The young suitor saw that they would not return soon and went off to find them sitting on the cellar steps knee deep in beer and asked what on earth they were up to. "We are thinking about names for your children once you are married.’ they all three replied. ‘What silly folk you all are,’ said he. ‘I shall not return to marry her until I have found three more people even more daft than you lot.’ So off he went looking for a few people even more silly than his wife to be’s parents and herself. As he traveled down the road he came across a man knocking walnuts from a tree and trying to load them into his cart with a fork. An impossible task to perform it seemed. ‘Why don’t you throw all the walnuts into a basket and empty it into the cart,’ said he to the silly man. Then he walked along further and found a man even more foolish than the first ‘What are you trying to do?’ He asked the fellow ‘I want to feed my pig some acorns but he will not climb this tree.’ replied the poor chap. ‘Go up to the top and shake the tree, the acorns will come tumbling down and the pig can have its fill after all.’ he said to the daft fellow. That made two men more dull than his prospective wife and family. He found a third one soon enough who was a chap who tried to fit into his trousers by jumping into them from above. Try as he might he could not fit into its trouser legs this way. ‘Hold the trousers in your hands and climb in leg by leg. That way they will fit you easily.’ he said to the man. Now he had met three men more daft than the first three he had come across. He went back to marry the girl on the spot and they lived a long and happy life together and had many, many little children. Never say never. Never is a long time. 

(A Story from the Fairy Tales of Henry Carnoy.)