LIKE A CLOWN
By Suchitra Manpuri
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Came into this world, juggling with my emotions,
Like a clown I made others laugh, my hands throwing my feelings in the air,
I laughed with them heartily, but could see the pity in their eyes,
In the day I wear make-up for fun, at night I weep to wash it off,
I try to dab the colorful colors on to my face and into my colorless life,
Wearing something to go with my looks, hoping to make a fool of myself,
I enter the stage to tap my feet, to cavort like a mindless monkey,
Sanity intact I would put up an act, as if I am the only craziest one in this world,
They applaud and see in me a part of theirs, which they avoid in public,
I wonder if the appreciations are for my act or for their successful pretence.
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Comments
I enjoyed this poem. You
I enjoyed this poem. You catch very well the sadness of the clown behind the mask, and the fact that everyone is wearing their own mask to hide their sadnesses. Some lovely touches, such as 'at night I weep to wash it off' and 'my hands throwing my feelings in the air'. I did feel a few of the lines need a bit more polish. For example, when you say 'hoping to make a fool of myself' I assume you mean fool in the sense of clown or jester, but generally 'making a fool of myself' indicates the person has come over as a bit of an idiot who did not succeed in what they wanted to do. Perhaps putting the word fool in quotation marks would make it clearer? I think the last line is very good, and you don't need either the ellipsis or the exclamation mark - it is strong enought to stand on its own.
Hope you don't mind me being a bit nit picky. I think it's a very promising poem and with a little polish it could be even better. But every reader is subjective and others may have very different views. Looking forward to seeing more!
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