Something you Cherish

How do you accept yourself for who you are? How do you truly understand yourself. See I think I have figured it out.

I live in a regular house, and have regular friends, and regualr things. But I, myself, am not your average person.

I used to think I could write stories and poems, I used to think I could sing. Until I met this one girl, who totally competed with me. I used to think I could draw, but then there she was. And she was also my friend, but the kind you didn't understand.

Everyone quit looking at my artwork, my wrinting, my songs. Instead they turned to her, and now I was completely gone. It angered me in jealousy, consumed me with greed. That all of my friends, now could no longer see me.

Then I just quit showing people my work, kept it in a binder to myself. Hid it from everyone, because they wouldn't care if they saw it. My binder kept getting thicker, and my poems more alone and fierce.

I didnt understand. Even the closest of my friends were telling me my artwork, writeing, and singing was no longer good. They would brag in my face, and tell me how good they had done, about their awards, and their winnings over stuff they had done. I was sick with envy, and sad that what I was doing wasn't worth while.

So how do you accept that? And not live in self denial?

My writing, and singing was my theorapy, my artwork was my ticket out of boredom, something I was proud of. And everyone was ripping this away.

It doesn't matter how well you write, it doesn't matter what other people do well. If something makes you happy, then don't let them tear it away from you.

See people try to bend and break things, try to make themselves better to please other people. If something makes you happy, then stick to it, your work is good. Don't begin to be like me, and hide it away. Store it in a hole.

My name is Carolina. I no longer understood.