Adopt a Tiger (5)
By Terrence Oblong
- 376 reads
The next morning Susan phoned cousin Peter to ask if she could borrow his van to take Terrence the tiger to his TV audition that afternoon, but Pete couldn't spare it. "I've got deliveries all day pet," he said. "I know my meat's fresh but it doesn't walk."
What to do? Who did she know that would be able to drive her tiger to an audition. As she was pondering a car drew up outside her house. A clown's car. She only knew one clown, Billy. Billy from just down the road. What on earth was he doing driving such a short distance? She went outside to meet him.
"You've driven two hundred metres," she said. "Not a fan of walking?"
"I've brought you a treadmill," Billy replied. "It is too heavy for me to carry far."
"A treadmill?"
"For the tiger. Tigers need exercise, they are wild beasts you must understand. They are used to hunting prey, the thrill of the chase, the speed, the adrenalin, the kill."
"And a treadmill will replace all that?"
Billy looked hurt. "They're very effective actually. All the big cats at our circus used them, they used to do speed tests against each other."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Are you sure you can spare it?"
"Yes, I was given it when the circus folded, I have no use for it, I'm a clown not a tiger."
Billy set up the treadmill and the tiger soon took to it and in no time was running at a pace.
"There is nothing pleases a tiger like a treadmill," Billy said.
"Thank you again," said Susan. "It'll get him fit for the TV, if that ever happens."
"Is there a problem, I thought Terrence had an audition."
"Yes, today at 3.00. But I can't find anyone with a van or lorry to take him."
"I have a trailer. I could attach it to my car. I have taken tigers for rides before, when I was a circus clown."
"But it's a clown's car."
"It functions as a normal car, as you can see. I would not drive along a main road in a car about to fall to pieces. Especially not whilst carrying a tiger. Clowns are silly, funny, but not entirely deprived of sense or responsibility."
"Of course. Thank you. Would you be able to pick us up at two."
"I will see you both then. And don't overdo it, you don't want to look a sweaty mess in front of the camera."
"I'm sorry?"
"I was talking to the tiger."
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This is just the ticket for
This is just the ticket for pandemic reading!
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