Democracity
By Terrence Oblong
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Democracity! The greatest city in the western world, with 23 million inhabitants, the size of three Londons, its own government and laws, like a country within a country. Built on the principles set out in Plan A, the greatest conceivable landmark to Britain's New Era.
I am a no-one in this city, a lowly mechanical in the Department for Eternal Perfection, tasked with walking the 250,000 streets and roadways identifying any paving stone or roadway in need of repair, but I know that I am a vital cog in a carefully calibrated machine of magnificent municipality. Democracity guarantees that any such repair will be carried out within four working days, thus avoiding any conceivable risk of injury or accident. Not for nothing will Democracity be known as the safest city to live in the whole world.
I pound the streets every day. Today I was privileged to be walking around the Great Square, site of Government Central, the greatest structure in the history of public buildings, with a dome almost a mile across, a shimmering purple glass that can not only be seen from space, but is so wondrous that astronauts turn round and come back to Earth when they see it, realising that there is nothing else so splendid in the entire multiverse. They said it couldn't be built, that it's very dimensions defied the laws of physics, but the details of its construction are clearly set out in Plan A and the building is scheduled to be completed within the next five years. Once built, it will be the envy of the wide world.
Of course, you can't start building such a pivotal landmark before houses have been built to house the workers responsible for construction. My house was the third to be finished, in Last Street, ironically the first street to be built. My neighbour, Terrence, is the Chief Architect of Government Central and he was hard at work within the red-painted outline of what will become his greatest work, 'my own personal pyramid' as he calls it.
"Terrence, how's it going?"
"Fuckin' terrible. They're sending me the wrong sort of marble. I ordered black marble, marble that could never be tainted by dirt or usage, but the docket they've just sent me is for Charcoal Black, not Black Black. It's as if they ain't got eyes."
I studied the colour chart Terrence showed me in demonstration of the marbellous catastrophe, but I honestly couldn’t tell the difference between the two shades of darkness. But that's the level of excellence that underpins everything in Democracity, the slightest imperfection is met with protest memos and informed debate, until the dockets are corrected and the structure can begin, untainted by imperfection however slight.
I could have bantered with Terrence all day, but duty called, streets don't walk themselves. Like Government Central, my work is also still in the preparatory stage, as the roads have yet to be completed. I walk the red-painted outlines of the great thoroughfares and buildings that will follow. This is all crucial preparation, as soon as the streets are completed I will know every shortcut, cranny and nook and will be able to begin my inspections with 100% efficiency, no wrong turnings or frantic map-gazing. My role means that I am privileged to be the very first person to see the full extent of the city's greatness, not just the showpiece Central Square buildings, but the humble abodes of your average Jo or Joe, my patch stretching to the beginnings of the City Limits.
Last Street, which I may have mentioned was ironically the first street to be built, contains all of the First Settlers like Terrence and myself. All are gainfully employed, as is to be expected, Plan A sets out the Scheme for Full Employment, which will ensure that every citizen of Democracity is gainfully employed and able to provide for his or her needs and wants.
Lumbar also works in the Great Square, he is a tourist guide and can cite every single line of Plan A, a font of knowledge on how the city will be run. I was walking past the site of the World Museum when he accosted me.
"The World Museum," he shouted, used as he was to addressing tour parties of several hundred people at a time, "is the only museum that guarantees to capture and evidence the entire history of the known world and even, in the Star Chamber, of the universe itself. See the Natural History Quarter, where dinosaurs are literally brought back to life for your education and enjoyment. Witness the spectacular fall of the Roman Empire and hear the wondrous tale of the lost city of Atlantis, which Democracity's archaeologists and architects rediscovered and rebuilt within the walls of the museum itself, making it the only museum in the world to house an entire city."
All of this I knew already, of course, having read the extract in Plan A. Enthused as I was by the splendour of the museum, which offered the opportunity to explore the whole of history in Real Time, my time was restricted by the needs of the working day, I said my farewells. As I continued my journey around what will be the greatest city ever built, I saw Lumbar leave the site of the World Museum and wander over towards Terrence, doubtless to tell him more about Government Central. Lumbar would know whether it will be built with Black Black or Charcoal Black marble.
And so another day passed, another significant day in the history of Democracity, one day nearer the city's completion. I walked home along Freedom Drive, down Democratic Mews and Cupcake Avenue, turning into James Savin Foster Boulevard before finally reaching Last Street.
After dinner I decided to walk down the road to the First Tavern, so named because it was the very first building in Democracity to be completed. I was here when the Prime Minister came to cut the ribbon and declare the pub open. I remember him joking about how ironic it was that the first street to be built was Last Street. We still laugh about it.
That was two years ago now, of course. At the time we were all living in tents, but The Builders soon completed the work on the rest of Last Street, which enabled the First Settlers to take up permanent resident. The very first First Settler, of course, was Dirk, the landlord.
"What you 'aving?" he asked as I entered, though of course, due to the Supply Issue, there was only one beer available, and even that was rationed to five pints a night. All of that would change, of course, when the Big Brewery was built, producing twenty-seven varieties of award winning ale, using water fresh from our own Great Lake, but for the moment I had to make to with a pint of Whateveryou'vegot.
I was the first in tonight, but Terrence soon joined me.
"I was talking to Lumbar", he said, "apparently Plan A says that it's not Charcoal Black marble I should use, but it's not Black Black either, I've got to use New Black. I've had to send another chuffin' memo requesting a different flippin' docket. I wouldn't mind, but they haven't even invented the bleedin' colour yet, it's still in the bloomin' Conceptual Stage." The First Tavern was a non-swearing pub, which Terrence was doing his best to observe, though he did sometimes have to step outside into the beer garden for a curse break.
"Talk of the bleedin' devil." It was Lumbar.
"There's no place for the devil in Democracity," Lumbar corrected him, "it's set out clearly on page 362 of Plan A that evil will be banished from the city, leaving residents to live in harmony and peace."
Terrence looked unhappy at having forgotten such a key part of the city's founding principles and sipped his drink in sulky silence for a while.
Last to arrive was Kevin, who'd been arriving later every day for the last few weeks. It was as if he had something better to do than go to the pub, though if he did he wasn't letting on what it was.
"I didn't see you at work today," I said, by way of making conversation.
Kevin looked shifty, as if not really wanting to talk. "I was out on a job."
Strange. This was immense news. Kevin was a builder, so if he was out on a job it meant that The Builders had returned and that the construction of the city was back on course.
The implications weren't lost on Lumbar.
"The construction of Democracity is often referred to as the First Wonder of the World, putting lesser wonders, such as the pyramids, well and truly in their place. A million builders were needed altogether, including a generation of great craftsmen to ensure that the city was not just built and built to last, but in every fine detail it was a magnificent and wondrous place to behold."
In response Kevin just mumbled into his beer and look uncomfortable.
I couldn't remember an evening of such great development and interest. I refuelled my pint glass and returned to the discussion. We drank in silence for a while, all dwelling over the implications of Kevin's words. Eventually Terrence ended the tranquillity.
"So Kevin, what you been working on today then? I didn't see any building." Terrence was clearly keen that Government Central would be one of the first public buildings completed and was anxious to hear of development elsewhere.
Kevin didn't answer for a while, starting as he was to sweat and looking more and more uncomfortable. Eventually he realised that he couldn't get away with silence any longer. It was then that he made his Announcement.
"Listen fellers, I've got something to say. I'm leaving Democracity. I've been offered a job in Freeville."
"Freeville!" Lumbar was raging. "Freeville's not even built yet, it's just an idea, no more than a concept."
"But it's an idea that will be built, it's part of The Way Forward. The new Prime Minister was there today to cut the ribbon. It's all set out in Plan B, I've been reading it over the last few nights, it's a vision for a great city."
"Don't be tempted by Plan B, it's a false strategy," warned Lumbar. "Democracity is a real city, already housed with people, not just a vague promise of a brighter future."
"It's not a city if only five people live there."
"We're just the First Settlers."
"We're the only settlers. The Builders have gone, the budgets been spent elsewhere, even the idea's been forgotten, The New Era is over, we're yesterday's plan, a forgotten promise. You've settled in a dream that never became reality. You've backed a horse that never left the stable, you're smelling the roses that died a century ago. Democracity is falling apart, even before it's finished, there's been nothing new built in over a year, the pavement outside my house has three broken slabs, everywhere you look the cracks are showing."
"I know about the broken pavement," I interjected, "this has been noted and reported, four separate memos have been sent about the matter and your broken pavement will be the first that the Great City Repair Service performs."
"But what about the four day guaranteed repair, they've been broken for over six months?"
"Ah, well, the Great City Repair Service isn't established yet, but you will be the very first repair listed in the Great City Repair Service Register, an historic document."
"You can't leave," said Terrence, "you're one of us, one of the effin' first settlers. What the rest of us gonna bleedin' do if you go?"
"Join me. Plan A is just a book, a promise that will never be delivered. Join Plan B, take a step towards the Way Forward. There are real jobs in Freeville. Why stay here to be chief architect of a building that will never be completed? I'll email my boss, use my connections, Freeville needs architects, barmen, tour guides, even street walkers, there's work for everyone. They even pay wages."
Nobody replied. Kevin didn't stay for further discussion. He downed the remnants of his pint, stood up, and walked out of our lives. The First Settlers, the foundlings, were down to just four.
Dirk decided to declare Extended Hours, as the by-laws allow on special occasions. He even let us have increased rations, seeing as Kevin was no longer going to be needing his. We're still here, hours later, in communal silence drinking our pints, a real community, the last of the First Settlers.
I have no time for abstract distractions like Plan B and the Way Forward, I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow: a tour of the city market, an area Plan A describes as "the most brilliant, busy and bustling place in existence."
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