Five jokes

By Terrence Oblong

Thu, 13 Jun 2024
  • 194 reads
1 comments
 
I phoned 999.  "Fire, fire," I said.
"Which service do you require?" said the voice on the other side of the phone.
I said "Ambulance.  A firing squad has just shot my mother-in-law."
 
 
 
I had fish for lunch, a piece of slalom. A slalom's like a salmon, but instead of swimming upstream to lay eggs they breed while skiing downhill between poles.
 
 
 
I've been conned, someone's given me one of those Bank of Toytown notes in my change. There's a picture of Big Ears in the place where you usually get the Queen.
 
 
I was kidnapped and tortured by duck terrorists.
I withstood their torture for days before I finally quacked.
 
 
I went to see my friend who had the lead role in a play. However they went missing just before the show, they study was taken by a goose.
I suspect fowl play.
Certificate 15
Other
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Tom Brown on

I've yet to meet a guy that actually really loves his mother-in-law. Wonder why? Big ears? Noddy badge? Ok the Queen - not a compliment. Who says no-one is irreplacible? Try to bribe her whith chocolates and flowers and that. Or marmalade.

A firing squad has just shot my mother-in-law bit late for an ambulence I swear it was an accident!

Good jokes, clever puns! Tom