Renfield's Afoot

The mood on the office floor was gloomy.

"There's talk of redundancy," said Mike, who was first to hear every piece of gossip in the office and was rumored to start at least half of them. "Renfield's on the lookout for someone he can get rid of."

"Surely he'll sack Useless Steve," said Dave. "He doesn't do anything and when he does he gets it wrong and makes more work for everyone."

"Yeah, remember Japan," said Lambert. Everyone did. Instead of posting the partnership agreement to the company's Japanese Office, Useless Steve had sent the paperwork to the 1980s pop band of the same name, who were consequently now solely responsible for the promotion of their new product in Asia. 

"Steve's safe," said Damian, who knew these things. "He plays at the same golf club as Renfield. they've even played a round or two together. Renfield would never sack anyone he'd played golf with, it wouldn't play well at the club."

"If not Steve then it has to be that new bloke, Derek. He's no idea what he's doing. I had to take over the new campaign from him, it's been in his in-tray for a month and he did nothing with it."

"No, he's safe too," said Damian. "He plays at the same golf club."

"In which case none of us is safe," said Dave. "We don't play golf - we're all too busy getting the work done."

"Careful what you say," cautioned Mike. "That sort of talk could put you top of the redundancy list."

"But Renfield isn't here to hear me."

"Not here in person, no, but we have to be careful. Renfield's e

erywhere if you get my meaning."

"Look busy," Dave said sharply, "Renfield's afoot."

It was too late. Before anyone could move Renfield marched into the room.

"Hello, hello, what have we here, having a little party are we?"

"I was showing the team different ways to analyze this month's figures," Dave said. "If you ignore sales on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays and Tuesday mornings, our figures are actually UP on last month."

"Good, shows a bit of initiative. We need some positive analysis given the way sales are going. I'm afraid I've got some double bad news. Management have asked me to lose one of m team."

"Who?" asked Damian.

"Well that's the second piece of bad news. I'm afraid that Steve has been offered a job producing Japan's new album. They were so impressed with initiative in recruiting them as our main Asian distributor that they think he'll do something really special with their new material."

"But there is some good news," Renfield continued. "As part of the restructuring management have decided to sub-delegate the workforce into teams. This means one of you is going to be promoted to team leader, leaving me free to do, er, general overseeing things."

"So who's being promoted?" asked Mike. "Have you decided yet."

"Yes, the new guy, Steve. He's really impressed, management are delighted with his work on the new campaign and he's already endeared himself to everyone at the golf club - I can see him taking over my job should I ever leave."