There's an elephant in the way

"There's an elephant in the way."

"There can't be. It doesn't say anything about elephants in the book."

"See for yourself. You try getting past that."

"You're right, an elephant right in front of the through-space. How on earth did that get there?"

"Search me, as far as I can tell it's always be there."

"Can't we get round it?"

"No, I've tried, but there's only a tiny space to get through and a massive great elephant right in front of it. You couldn’t send so much as an ant through that gap."

"Is there another way through?"

"No, I've been up and down the corridor a dozen times and it's the only way through."

"A dozen times you say, how long have you been here?"

"Over a week, I've lost track exactly."

"And the elephant hasn't moved in all that time."

"Not budged so much as an inch."

"Have you tried moving it?"

"What, shoving an elephant aside on my own?"

"You could try persuading it."

"You ever tried negotiating with an elephant. It's pointless, like arguing with the wife, you both know there'll only be one winner."

"We could try coaxing it, with a bun or something."

"You got a bun?"

"No."

"Neither have I. Nice idea though."

"Erm, this may seem a stupid question, but this is the way to heaven isn't it? Only I've just died and I was expecting to go to heaven, like it says in the book."

"I hope it is, 45 years of church every Sunday I'd be pretty pissed if it led anywhere else."

"Me too. I just wasn't expecting the elephant. There's no elephant in the book."

"Some religions do say that an animal guide will lead you along the path to the afterlife."

"But this isn't guiding us is it. It's just blocking the way."

"Well, being stuck behind an elephant for all eternity certainly isn't my idea of heaven. We could try pushing it, we've more chance with two."

"Nothing to lose I suppose. You take the left leg, I'll take the right. On the count of three. One. Two. Three."

"Hrrffgnn."

"Gnnnrghhft."

"It's not working."

"Not budging an inch. My back's killing me."

"Got to have a breather. It's hard work pushing elephants."

"You know what's worrying me most of all."

"What?"

"Well, we're expecting to get to heaven right? Well, what is heaven?"

"Heaven, well it's eternal bliss. Life ever-after."

"Exactly, you don't know either. The book never says anything about the detail."

"Well?"

"So, what if this is it? Eternal life ever-after, in this corridor, waiting for an elephant to move."

"Doesn't sound much like heaven."

"It's better than the other corridor at least."

"Why, what's in the other corridor?"

"A tiger."