Mouth to mouth

mouth to mouth

Her mouth was open. A large gaping hole in her face. She was breathing
hard, not snoring, but making small clicking sounds in the back of her
throat. I turned over and tried to ignore it, but it was no use. I got
up and went downstairs. In the kitchen, I opened the back door and lit
a cigarette. I inhaled deeply. It was cold and the frost crept under my
coat. I shivered and buttoned up. I exhaled. Across the garden, I could
see a light on at number thirty-two. Somebody was wandering about,
pacing back and forth past the window. I couldn't work out if it was Mr
or Mrs Tyler. I lit another cigarette and waited for the figure to
reappear. But then the light went out and everything was dark. I
finished my cigarette and went back to bed.

In the morning it was the same. She was eating cereal, shovelling
spoonfuls of wheat and bran into her mouth. I looked away and pretended
that I was reading the paper. She said she would be late home and not
to worry. Then she was gone. I cleared the dishes and put the cereal
boxes back in the cupboard. Then I started on the washing up. But the
feeling of nausea would not go away. I sat down and tried to control my
breathing.

I opened the sideboard and searched for the photo albums. I flicked
through the pictures until I found the wedding selection. I pulled out
four or five posed shots of the two of us together, close up. I laid
them out on the table and examined them carefully. There was no sign of
anything. I scrutinised every part of the image - the composition, the
body language, the expressions, the emotion behind the eyes - Nothing.
I put them back and went for a lie down.

She got home late, something about securing a new contract. I had made
some soup and she slurped it down at the kitchen table. I tried to
ignore the sensation of falling. There was something different. She
wasn't wearing lipstick. I remembered the colour, deep crimson, thick
and shiny, some of it on her teeth. But now her lips were bare. When
she had finished, I picked up her plate and spoon, and dropped it in
the sink. There could be any number of reasons why she had removed it,
but I could only think of one.