Old World

My fingers tremble and my head pounds
I can't say how I feel for fear of losing everything
Especially losing you
And I'm not able to let go yet

I wonder what's wrong with me
Why I can't just be like everyone else
Saying goodbye didn't hurt them
So what's stopping me?

I lost faith somewhere down the line
I feel hands grip me to pull me down
They tell me they need me
Like you used to

So many secrets would go with me
I feel like betrayal is the way
I vaguely wonder if this would make it better
Then I think, for who?

I can't see passed this white cloth
They've thrown over my eyes
My heart aches at the sound of your voice
And I want to scream

If I knew another way out
Oh trust me I would take it
To save you from the pain I know you'd feel
But I'm not strong enough

I can't promise you that it won't be worse
I can just promise that I will stay
My version of things would go much simpler
Once and it's done

I don't belong to you anymore
I can see it now
And it breaks me
Breaks me into a thousand pieces

Struck with the sudden feeling of regret
When I've had it all along
Deep down I know I'll be okay
But for now I need to shatter

You can pick up the pieces when I'm done
And I'll apologize for the mess I've made
And I wish you knew everything
Every little thing that I hide

In the back of my mind I can feel you
You say things will be fine
I ask when
For that you have no answer

If I fell today
You couldn't catch me
Only tear me down
It's so easy

I see it happening so quickly
A ghost of a smile flits across my lips
As I brush them against your neck
If only you could feel that way again

There's so much longing
I just want you to help me
To create something to keep me safe
I want my old world back