Adulterers’ Hymn (Second Chances)

By threeleafshamrock

Tue, 28 Jul 2009
  • 1496 reads
3 comments
 

I wish that you could love, as I.
I wish that you could feel
how love’s akin to endless sky,
that needs no paper seal.

I pray the gods may turn from this
intoxicating light,
that blinds their minds to mortal bliss;
religious fervours bright!

The laws of man and those of god,
should seek to yet entwine.
What’s Gods’, be Gods’ but let them not
take all that’s clearly mine.

I cannot fight this ether mass,
I cannot break down walls,
built stout with tumbling hourglass;
years wide and aeons tall.

I hope that fire will one day sear
your glacier bastioned heart
and melt a cleft, that it may clear
a route for cupids’ dart.

And then the Gods can go and play
with other lovers’ lives;
and I will stand on judgement day
too suffer sinners’ knives!

Certificate 12
Poem
Lurve Ramblings
Love

Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
god's denotes possession not plural, you need to lose the apostrophe. What does this line mean? 'religious fervours bright' if you have 'religious fervour's bright' it will mean religious fervour is bright, the apostrophe standing in for the missing 'i'. This line is where you need the apostrophe between d and s in God's What’s Gods’, be Gods’ but let them not what you have is gods plural possessive, i.e. belonging to more than one god. It should be "Cupid's" unless you believe there is more than one? Sinners' and Lovers' are correct to show the plural possessive. How old is this one, Chris? I found it interesting. Ewan

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Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Firstly Ewan, thanks for once again sorting me out (it must be getting tiring but I am eternally grateful). 1. Changed the first 'God's' 2. 'religious fervours bright' I am referring to 'all' Gods of all religions and grouping them and using the term 'Gods' as you would for the old Roman or Greek Gods for instance. The narrator 'I' is inferring that Gods (and their disciples) are - or think themselves to be - so perfect, that they make no allowance for human traits, wants, needs or nature and draw up impossible laws. Basically, it's their way or no way and they are so intoxicated by holy or celestial light, that they are not willing to broker any human opposition; 'like it or lump it'. Unfortunately the potential lover of the piece feels bound by these 'celestial laws', thus 'my' angst with them. 3. 'What’s Gods’, be Gods’ but let them not...' This one was harder but what I meant to say was; What belongs to the Gods (plural) let them have but let them not take what is clearly mine; human love! I am still not sure if this is written properly or not to be honest but it sounded right(?) The next stanza goes on to explain that, if there was a tangible foe to be faced 'I' would have no problem facing and fighting it but up against this 'belief' that is intangible; as ether, has over time become impregnable - although invisible. The next stanza suggests that hopefully some day, love's fire will conquer this invisible shield of faith 'protecting' my potential lover.... The final stanza suggests that if love does defeat the Gods/faith/marriage cert, that the Gods can bugger off and enrapture some other poor eejit and if on judgement day (if there is such a thing), there is a price to pay 'I' am willing to stand up and take my punishment for my 'sins'. Hope that explains somewhat and would be glad of your advice with regard to item 3. I first posted this, not long after joining the site; back in around February. Thanks for taking the time and apologies for the hassle. ;)

Submitted by LTBurbery on
I think it's great and reading your comment showed a lot of the meaning behind it as well which is enlightening. I like the idea of Gods being spelt with a capital as meaning all Gods of every religion, or all beliefs in higher power/powers. I also like the fact you are willing to "suffer the slings and arrows" for sins you may or may not have committed, it shows you've got substance as well as talent!