Suck and Swallow

Cherry

By threeleafshamrock

Mon, 25 May 2009
  • 6951 reads
23 comments
 

Your lips close over the tip,
I watch you sucking gently
Then gasp at the release.
It swirls as you lick your lips,
Leaking from the corners.
Then you close and swallow
Hold back your head and exhale.
Smiling, you lean up and kiss me
And I taste the deposit on your teeth;

I really wish you would give up those bloody cigarettes.

Certificate 15
Poem
shamrock's ramblings
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Dynamaso on
Hahahahahaha... Very good, mate. I was wondering how this was going to end. A brilliant short. I used to know this so well but can proudly say I haven't had a cigarette for well over 12 months now.

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Lol, thanks D. I'm trying to get off them AGAIN! Thanks for reading ;)

Submitted by chuck on
Absolutely disgusting....habit.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
I know chuck...and the smoking's not good either LOL

Submitted by gristo on
Haha, liked this a lot. Good lead in and the twist was well set up. thanks.

www.deadpoetry.co.uk

Submitted by sarah wilson on
I keep trying to give up! I loved this - nice twist!

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Lol, thanks Gristo, my wife was giving my (that's 'my' as opposed to 'me') head an ear-bashing for this very reason; should have married a smoker - unhealthy but peaceful LOL ;)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
I've been trying for ever it seems Sarah. I actually make the mistake of telling everyone that I am giving up and get twice the grief the next time I light up ;)

Submitted by sarah wilson on
I know the feeling. My third attempt starts next week - in silence!

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
LOL Sarah, good luck; I wont say a word! ;)

Submitted by mariaduffy on
Hahaha! I love it. You really 'sucked' me in there! Love the twist. Maria

mariaduffy

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Hey Chris! Sorry I'm late in commenting - been away for the long weekend without internet access - realised I am an internet addict *shrugs of withdrawal symptoms* Well done on the cherry - such a delicious twist! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Maria, glad you enjoyed the suck! ;)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Cheers Internet Addict Magic and thanks to the cherry gods ;)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Nathan, you sound like my wife lol. Thanks for reading mate. ;)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Mark, clawed in a lot of readers with the title I think LOL. ;)

Submitted by hilary west on
Really enjoyed this one. The end was everything !

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks Hilary, it just kind of 'came' to me LOL. ;)

Submitted by scoot on
let me add my name to the general acclaim. hot and cool.

Submitted by DraxB on
cheeky!

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks scoot and Drax for reading ;)

Submitted by Curse of 222 on
my goodness, i appear to be very late to the party, but i must throw my hat in with all the others...i really enjoyed this poem. cheeky doesn't even begin to sum it up. awesome work. you made me laugh and that always makes for a better day! jason

jason

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Cheers Jason ;)