Consequences

It was our Daughter's birthday Sunday, and it was the most strangest, frightening day of my life! It all seem to happen at once!! Let me explain.

About ten days ago, having searched through lots of small net books, on the internet, I finally found one, that ticked all the boxes. All the others that I'd 'watched' and the one that I'd bid for at fifty quid before, eventually sold for £130 or more! But now, having done my 'homework' and asked my Husband, about the jargon words, so on my very own I bid for what I thought was a fantastic, net book, bidding would end in four days, my maximum bid was £70 plus there was £10 for package and postage. Two weeks ago, I'd bought our Daughter a mobile phone, they say it's free, but there isn't much free in this world, and as it was her first contract phone she was thrilled with it and was allowed to have it as soon as it arrived. The contract is for two years then I soon realized I'd also have to pay £5 extra a month for the insurance of her phone! I hadn't counted on that too. The other phone Company that I joined for 5 days they do free mobile insurance, but the phone company that I'd been with for 16 years and three months offered me a fantastic deal when I told them I'd left!!! It was SO good I went back to them and they 'gave' me a brilliant mobile phone.

I know my MOT was due in early May and I wanted to make sure I had enough money to pay for it, should it fail, so I put my trusted car into my local garage and was told it had failed and would cost an eye watering £140! Fifteen years ago, if I'd been told it had failed and would cost that much to repair, I'd just sell it and buy another car! But has I got older, I think those days are over and I've had this car the longest think about 3 or 4 years. But I'm jumping ahead..... after I'd placed the bid I realized we didn't have a lot of money left in the bank, so I decided to cancel, my mini laptop bid, but alas, I found out once a bid is placed it cannot be removed unless a major mistake has occurred, like bidding £1000 instead of £1.00 so I was gutted, then I re-assured my self that all the other net books sold for far too much money and most of the good ones went for well over £200 but because it was in the morning when it ended, many missed it! And I won the bid! I was mortified. Then I decided when it arrived I'd re-sell it but I didn't want to then make a loss, by putting it back on the site for say, thirty quid and having just one bidder, yet if I put it on for eighty quid, no one would bid for it, they would think the starting price is far too high.

I'd took out ten pounds and kept it in a safe place in the house, I asked the garage to go ahead and do the necessary repairs it was ready the following day that was last Friday...... would we have enough money in our account to pay for it? God only knows! Nervously I put my card into the chip and pin and saw accepted, pin OK, phew! I got up early on Saturday I had a lot to do and had done a little list, I was going to buy a card for our Daughter's Birthday and a small chocolate cake, spending no more than £5 on the cake I decided to pop into the back first to see how much money we had left and was told by the cashier, “nothing available” we had gone over the over-draft! What were we going to do! I'd put £5 petrol in for the car to go to the garage for the petrol empty light was on, and when I picked it up it was on empty again. So I decided to put things for sale, on the internet for bidding. We had already planed to go to an indoor car-boot that would be £7.50 for the table but I only had £10 to my name. But we made about twenty quid last Sunday, so I was confident we would do really well Sunday too. I'd decided after I knew we had nowt in the bank, not to get the card or the cake – no money! I needed to hang on to that ten pounds and spend it wisely. So Saturday was spent putting lots of things on the internet to sell, things that I really love but need to make a quick buck. Didn't really do well Saturday, but I reassured my worried Husband that everything would be al-right . It was easy to say it, but I didn't have a clue how it was going to end, it seemed bleak, we after all have a mortgage to pay and nothing to pay it with! Nothing!

My Husband usually collects and pay for his dog meat on Saturday, it's £6 but he didn't go to the butchers, he always fetches the dog meat f from there every other week.
My mini lap top arrived it was beautiful but I was not happy or excited, for I'd paid for the consequences of bidding on it.

Sunday arrived our Daughter's Birthday! She text me from her bedroom at 0.630 am to ask if I'd bought her a card and a cake for “last year she had to buy her own cake” I text back and said many kids in the world have nothing for their Birthday I remind her she in good health, with a roof over her head (just) and parents who love her! She text back and I could feel my peace been shattered! Even before I could start my Quiet Time – she'd made me cross! The joy of Text! I told her to “Stay where she was and not to come down” for I wanted to write my diary and gather my thoughts for the day. We desperately needed to make money today, Sunday the Lord's day but would he approve? I'd decided to go to my place of Worship on the evening instead of the morning so I could go to the car boot, as I only go to one or the other, and not usually to both meetings.

We left our Daughter at home, for our little car could not fit her into the car with the car boot! Only we could do that! She wanted to come to the car boot too. But we told her she had to stay! (she is a Teenager) As we had no petrol I used £5 of the £10 that I had. The owner of the car boot, comes round and collects the money but just as she came to me I made my first £2.50 so I was able to give the money for our table and that left me with 30p that I'd found in my purse. That's all the money we had left in the world, it couldn't get any worse. I was afraid …... standing there, desperate at the car boot on a Sunday of all days. I wanted to pack up and go home, the place was half empty, yet last week it was full, but then a woman came by, looked at my clothes rail she asked how much was the jacket, I wanted a sale so instead I said “50p” so then she chose another, “ how much is this one?” I said “50p” to that one too, even thou to me on a good day I'd have asked for no less than £3 each! She said she would have those two and wanted to know how much the the lovely top was, I wasn't going to say that was 50p too yet she said, “It's 50p, right? I replied, “No that's £1” she hesitated, looking at it and said “OK, I'll have it for £1 I was hurt that I'd given away such lovely things! By the time we almost finished packing up, for we had one last sale, our total in our hand £7.50 (I saw that much, as God's Grace, for it could have been just the 30p) that £7.50 that was all that we had, what a waste of a day! My day off! Wasted there, I didn't want to go to my place of Worship as I felt sick to my stomach! On our way home from the car-boot we went to the shop, our local supermarket, they have lots of reduced items near closing time and I got to the till I didn't have enough money, so I said to the cashier this is all I have in the whole world and she handed the change back to me, after I'd removed a 19p loaf of bread she put the change into my hand, it was 2p so it did get worse!!

I'd cooked a lovely roast chicken meal, with roast potatoes, carrots, cabbage, stuffing and real chicken gravy, before we went out, as it was Meghan's Birthday but I didn't enjoy it, the 'butterflies fear' was too strong – real fear was in my tummy, I didn't pass on my fears to Paul, as he is a worrier ….. I went to my place of Worship I really didn't want to go, for I was so afraid, but I am glad I went, for sitting looking at the four walls at home is not gonna help! So for a short time, I could forget that I only had 2p to my name.

When I returned home, I found out I had some bids! Then I had another dilemma, all the payments would go into Pay pal account and not into my hands and if we were still well over drawn I would not be able to post their items! For the bank gets the money before us, rightly so. I hate been hand to mouth! Then when I thought that, I thought, I don't want to have too much money, which causes me to say, “Who is the Lord?” I recently read about a woman who said for a bet she could live off £1 a day and she did for a year and during that time she found on the streets £127.00 in one year, so I eagerly looked at the ground as I walked, hoping to find some money but didn't. I put the money, Monday morning from pay pal into our account and wondered if this little amount would make a scrap of difference. I read the Word from my trusted Psalm 91 that He would be my Refuge, and boy did I need a Refuge Monday. He hasn't let me down, but how was He going to help me? I thought of asking Mum for help but, that's not God's way, me asking Mum for help. That's not how He provides.

Someone at work on Monday was very sad and cried and cried, it broke my heart to see this strong person so broken, “See?” I told myself, I'm not the only one with troubles. It helped me to get my mind off myself and think of her, so yesterday I said a prayer for her. Her plight moved me to tears. I don't know the ins and outs, I don't need to know, I never want to see her SO sad again.

Still, going back to Meghan's Birthday, Sunday our son Nathan said he would like to do jobs around the house for money, we told him we had no money to give him! Back to Monday, while I was at work, Paul rang me he said he went to the Butchers to tell them he couldn't pay for the dog meat last Saturday, for my MOT was too high and we didn't have the money, yet butchers said, he could take the dog meat and “Pay him when he had the money,” that was a weight off our shoulders especially for Paul, for the dogs are important to him. How many people in a shop, do you know, in ANY part of the world, would let you have meat without paying for it first! God bless our Butchers, I do not say that lightly.

We were due to have a meeting, first thing Monday morning at the school to do with Nathan but as I didn't want to use up the little bit of petrol I had left in my car I'd cancelled it! I walked to work that morning it was hard going, I felt so tired. But I looked on the positive side that it was free exercise. On my way home I went to the supermarket and thought I'd use the self service, buying something for the kids lunch boxes for £1 and see if I could get cash back ….... I got out £10 ! So later on that evening we walked to the supermarket and got some really good reductions, this included milk that we had almost ran out of. Whenever possible, when I have bought my 19p or less goodies I pass my ex next-door neighbour's house, Sue and hand her either some 19p flowers or good food I know she'll enjoy, she always tells me off..... but I've noticed something recently, I don't leave her home empty handed. She knows we do car boots and she has given me some lovely things and has told me to sell them and keep the money. She knocked on our door Monday evening and gave us a lovely digital camera with its printer, “Everything is there, use it as us see best.” I thanked her warmly. You can never out-give God.... He sees the now and the future. I'll save that for the larger outdoor in the huge field, or put onto the internet.

People had paid quickly for their items, they had won bids on and so again this morning before I went to work I put more money into our bank account from pay pal account and this evening Paul and I walked to the supermarket and again and bought our lovely reduced foods, we went to Sue's on our way home but she was out with the dog. Tomorrow I'll wrap the rest of the items people have bought and had quickly paid for and I'll post them.

This Saturday, I will buy Meghan a lovely Chocolate cake. We survived, this crises because, He provided! “He will not let me be put to shame”. Isaiah.