Me?

I was seventeen and working at the Civic Centre for a six weeks, it was a Work Experience devised by the Government to make it appear the job totals had gone down, when all it did was remove hundreds of us off the dole queue but we were still getting dole money but it was called Work Experience.

One day this girl came over to me I knew her name through her Brother, she was opposite to him, he was nice and she wasn't! She was famous for been a bully and a horrible person. I don't believe she knew my name, she had never ever spoken to me until this morning when she came across the room and asked, “Did you enjoy last night?” puzzled I said, “Last night?” I didn't know her as the person to ask, if I enjoyed what I knew I was doing last night, she said again, “Yeah last night you seem to really be enjoying yourself!” I then informed her I was at a prayer meeting last night, she became annoyed and said, “You were there, I saw you dancing at the Rising Star Night Club!!!!” I told her again It wasn't me, for I have never been to a night club in my life. She had already wasted enough time talking to the likes of me and so she stormed off!!! My heart was pounding with fear, for she wasn't a nice person …..

I had made a new friend a year ago at my local place of worship. It was the end of the meeting and I was standing on my own at the back of the hall, I was bursting to say something to some one, and this girl just happened to stand next to me so I said, “It's my Birthday tomorrow!” and she replied, “It's mine too! Amazing I asked her for her name she said, “It's Siobhan” I said excited, “That's my middle name!” So after that, we became best friends. She had been brought up different to me, I'd been to places of worship all my life and Siobhan, I learnt had only recently start visiting, attending where I had been for the last 4 years.

Been friends with someone who I would classed as been “worldly” opened me up to many new things, things I had never done before like, Ice-skating! We started to go every Friday and on Saturdays we went to the Roller Drome and always Pizza Land afterwards! We loved the same things and we were always laughing. We often dressed the same, for we went shopping together and bought the same things at the same time. It was great, all good.

I am one year older than Siobhan. One day Siobhan suggested for our Birthdays we should go to a night club! I didn't feel comfortable with that thought, and thought what if the Rapture happened? She was used to night clubs and had been often before she meet me but she was encouraged to stop going by other people, where we both now worshipped. We were in this lovely boutique shop and we saw a black velvet low cut at the front, with a split at the side, calf length dress that we both fell in love with. We tried them on and had to buy them.

Siobhan said again, “It's your eighteen it's special, lets go to a night club, I know a really nice one.....” I said, “OK.” My Mum wasn't pleased but, I said I would only go this once, so she just told me to “Be careful.”

We looked fantastic! Hair perfect, slim in our black velvet dresses. When I arrived I was shocked the music was SO loud! I shouted at Siobhan, “Why does it have to be this loud?” She replied, “This isn't loud, we are early in a few hours it will be LOUD” Indeed, it didn't occur to me we were early for 9.00pm was late for me, to be outside the home! Usually I am on my way home from our meetings.

Anyway, as only a few people were there and there was nothing much to do we went to the ladies to top up our lipstick. I was doing this with Siobhan when who should walk in but Jackie, the horrible bully girl from the Civic Centre, she took one look at me and shouted, “You F**king liar!” and walked straight back out!!!! Siobhan who knew her too, as we both knew her Brother said, “What was all that about, what made her SO angry?” I told her what had happened a few weeks before, but it WAS the truth. Today was my first time ever inside a night club, yes it was the Rising Star but it was my first time in any night club. It really shook me up! But what could I have done? She would have killed me if I tried to explain it wasn't me she had seen the first time, but here I was at the Risen Star, I couldn't deny that. But I couldn't help who she had seen, but as the same nationality as me, she KNEW she had seen me, only it wasn't me. That day was just the beginning!

At first I didn't realize I had a double, someone who looked the same as me. So when people first stopped me in the street and start talking to me, I'd say, “I'm sorry, I don't know you” they would always reply, “Of course you do” then the conversation would usually end when they said, “I know your Sister,” and I would always reply, “I don't have a Sister” they just couldn't get over the fact that they were talking to me but we didn't know each other, for I looked, talked, and walked exactly the same as her, with the same hairstyle. So others just start talking to me on the bus, in shops ….. after many years I just accepted that I had a double, and would say to the people, “It's my double you know, not me.”

Now for some individual times that stand out in my, “It's not me” moment:-

I had just started a new job and it was my first time ever on this road, or this area in fact. A school girl aged about 15 who was with her friend and on the other side of the quiet road and said to me, in a cherry “Hi, good morning” I looked at her and didn't know her, but there was no one with or near me, so I ignored her. She said it again, at me, again I ignored her so she crossed over to me and it wasn't until she was a yard away that she too realized she didn't know me!

On the same road a man said to me last week. “Please can I ask you a question”? He told me the school he went to many years ago and asked if I went to that school too, I told him, “No, I've never heard of that school nor do I know that area at all.” I told him which City I grew up in and only went to schools in that City. He shook his head and said, “I have smiled at you a few times, when I have seen you recently on this road, but you have ignored me” I told him “I hadn't noticed him.” I told him I had a double he, 100% agreed with me for he said, “She was nasty at school, not really the sort of person that he would usually talk to” but he thought she may have changed that was why he was now smiling at her, but he thought, I was still a horrible woman for not smiling back, like I was at his school. He looked at me and couldn't believe I wasn't her! Scary stuff! We chatted for a five minutes and off I went down the street. I told my Husband when I got home later, which reminds me....

About a year ago, I told my Husband, Paul that I was popping to the town. I never do things straight away, I take my time, doing this and that first. He told me he was taking the dog for a walk I said, “OK by the time you get back I'll be at town.” to go to the town we turn right when we come out our house. Paul was coming up the road and wondered why I was going the wrong way to the town? It wasn't until I was 2 yards from him that he realized it wasn't me! He was just about to ask the woman, why she was going the wrong way to the town. He came home 2 minutes later and I shouted down the stairs, “I'm still here, I'm going now” then he told me about the woman he had just seen, we have been married for almost twenty years!!!! Scary Stuff!!!

I have learnt you mustn't judge. When you think you see someone, it may NOT be them!

A man at Paul’s work, was convinced he was having an affair, he told Paul so. Paul said he wasn't, the work mate was not convinced and said, “I see you often in another town with another woman!” Then one day, he came over to Paul and said, “Sorry, I know now it's not you I have been seen all those years, for today you have had all your hair cut off and the other man still has long hair!”

I have had about 500 people, adults talk to me right up close, all the same nationality as me, and not one of them know ME, but HER! I have never met her.