Studio Apartment...

By traderclay

Tue, 23 Nov 2010
  • 592 reads
3 comments
 

Studio Apartment...
...I imagine myself in the not so distant future
renting a studio apartment.
It will have green shag carpet
It will smell of carpet cleaner, mildew and paint

The walls and ceilings will be bright white
There won't be any furniture
The stove will be a hot plate
I never really had any friends
By now I've alienated everyone
I've wanted to experience death since I was in High School
My mother died when I was 17

I bought a gun a couple of years ago
I've always viewed it as a way out
A last resort that's always close
I've always known why I bought it
It's really just a matter of time
It's a 40 caliber pistol

There won't be any immaculate "lodged bullet" story
The kids won't understand, but they're old enough
I will do this in the tub, so cleanup will be easy
I will call 911 and let them know
I won't be stumbled upon

I will lay down, cry for while
Go over my life again and again
Reliving those painful moments over and over
Gut wrenching pain, my body realizes
Knowing what has been, will continue
I hold the gun to my head
And go away one very flawed, very lonely and very pain filled person.

Certificate 18
Poem
My CL Listings
Drama

Comments

Submitted by Highhat on
Scary and sad

Submitted by maggyvaneijk on
the matter of fact tone reminds me of Sylvia Plath's "Lady Lazarus", the way you both tackle suicide in quite a trivial yet painful way is an interesting contrast if not scary and sad like Highhat said. I always hate it when people say this to me but I suppose it's human nature, I hope you're okay and this poetry is more fiction than fact.

 

Submitted by traderclay on
Caveat Lector Thank you, well, I think it could be the truest thing I've ever written...it required very little effort. But no, I'm not "in the tub" yet. Someone else mentioned Sylvia Plath, I will read that this morning.

Caveat Lector