What it’s like to be dyslexic from personal experience

 

 

Academics and experts write reams about my condition but I believe I can offer a unique perspective as  adult dyslexic adult myself,  self advocacy is highly important to increase understanding . Of course an academic understanding of my condition is very useful but rarely is much written from my perspective for obvious reasons that so many of my compatriots are not able to write at all. Dyslexia after all means trouble with words and writing does not come easily to me although it’s a lot easier now that when I was a child at school in the 80,s thanks to progress in assistive technology. 

 

I write as a hobby which seems somewhat ironic ,a dyslexic writer sounds like a punch line to a bad  joke. I write with the aid of assistive technology ( dictation, spell check and  predictive text are essential to me as without them I would not be able to express myself in a coherent manner) . In fact I ve just had a short story published in collection of northern English writers including my creative writing Tutor former Cheshire poet laureate Joy Winkler ,  so I’m in good company. Much of what I have been able to develop in terms writing has been down to her help , a fact for which I am  eternally grateful.  

 

I was partially inspired to write by studying the work of Benjamin Zephaniah as part of an access to university course. I loved his poetry and later learned that he was dyslexic himself. I wrote to him many years ago and got an encouraging email back which helped to keep me writing. I also take solace from the fact that Albert Einstein was dyslexic the poster boy for genius level intelligence although we are nt all on his level I did get a poem I wrote about him published on astronomy magazines blog to mark the hundredth anniversary of his miracle year.

 

Before my dyslexia diagnosis at the age of 27 I was very reluctant to ever put pen to paper and would look for jobs with little or no writing involved which of course does nt lead to career progression.  It’s taken me years to develop a level of skill at writing a skill which I did not develop at all at school and left school with no qualifications whatsoever.

In fact I rarely write with pen and paper as my writing is full of mistakes and crossing out which I hate anyone looking at. At school we were made to copy from the blackboard which I could never keep up with my slow writing speed  and the teacher would start rubbing out the section I was working on just as I was catching up. Anecdotally teachers told my parents “Rob understands he just can’t get it down on paper” . 

 

 

The advantages of not writing with pen and paper are many fold for me. 

Dictation onto the phone as I’m doing now is so much easier ,I often swap between dictation and typing this method works well for me and I feel it might work well for other dyslexics as it allows me to get down the free flow of ideas before putting them into a coherent manner. 

Cut and paste gives the ability move text around making editing much simpler and less time consuming as well. Long spells of dictation can be frustrating though as the phone doesn’t always recognise my northern English accent and will type in the wrong word or whole sentences of pure gobbledygook. Voice recognition technology has come on leaps and bounds though since I first used dragon naturally speaking headset on my computer while at university 20 years ago but it’s not prefect but never the less a very useful tool. I often have to put on Received pronunciation voice to make sure it is accurate in transcribing what I say though. 

 

I read perfectly well in fact I can speed read. I got through Nick Horbys  hi Fidelity one sunny afternoon sat in the park in London  .  A lot of dyslexics struggle with reading I don’t know why this is nt the case for me. Maybe  is it because I was encouraged to read a lot at an early age or simply because my type of dyslexia doesn’t affect reading there is so much nature / nurture wrapped up with my dyslexic functioning I don’t think anyone understands. I know that Dyslexia is genetic though as my grandfather had it and several of my family members are neuro  diverse being Aspergic which I understand to be a closely related condition with a high degree of crossover. 

 

I ve heard text can jump around on the page for some people with dyslexia again this is not something that I experience. I do however have a terrible short term memory but a good long term memory , get left and right mixed up when learning to drive ( something I feel very embarrassed about) I do struggle spelling words and sometimes use the wrong word or miss a words  out when writing, so learning to edit effectively has made a world of difference.

 

 My experiences are of course unique to myself  and I can nt claim to speak for everyone who is dyslexic and nor would I attempt to. Although I do feel a lot of my experiences are quite common and will be similar to other dyslexic adults especially those of my age . I know a dyslexic woman who went to school in the 60,s who was made to wear the dunce hat which must have even mortifying. 

 

As a child I had extra lessons after school with a private teacher but by the last two years of school  I could no longer keep up and I was dropped down to the bottom set in English officially labelled a thick kid which came as a shock my dad worked as a medical lecturer and I was considered one of the swotty kids. I lost my identity that day , one of the kid said tome “what are you doing here ? “and  I was just as puzzled as he was. I learn to fit in with my new identity and stopped making an effort, after all what was expected of me now ? Surely the school knew what they were doing I must be stupid if they’ve put me in with the stupid kids. 

After that  I just gave up on school and left with no qualifications. 

 

I know been dropped to the bottom set was a common occurrence for children they didn’t know what to do with.  In fact I was talking a fellow the other day who had a similar experience to me ,

not because he was dyslexic but because he was deaf and the school hadn’t picked up on it. I am sure they had no idea the damage they were doing to children, been branded stupid at a young age is devastating to your self esteem and can set you on a path to years of frustration. Especially when it’s compounded been told you did nt work hard enough at school so now you are thick and lazy and categorised as such. 

What kind of a start in life is that it was cruel and unnecessary and felt like a punishment for something I couldn’t help. For years looking back it’s made me very angry and lead to a lot of self doubt and second guessing myself , confused about what my level of ability is something I am still trying to work out.

 

 Some dyslexic people will have experiences very different to myself as it’s a syndrome which to a certain degree effects everyone differently and personal circumstances play a huge part in it’s effects.

Early detection , Assistive technology and different attitudes to schooling will make a huge impact as well. It would be interesting to know what schools do now to accommodate dyslexic children. I would hope the days of been branded a thick kid are long gone but I am sure there are still plenty’s of struggles for children and parents and well meaning teachers. 

After all academic achievement in schools is a political football that often gets kicked around. In 2009 MP Graham Stringer   went on record in parliament saying  that he didn’t believe Dyslexia was a real condition and was just an excuse to cover poor teaching. This is a very outdated attitude and can you imagine any other minority in this country being talked about in such a manner without there being a huge  political backlash? I believe this is because dyslexics are often taught to be ashamed of their condition thanks to the early thick and lazy label. 

 

Dyslexics make up an estimated 10% of the population in the UK but it  is  a hidden disability which is largely misunderstood in the general population. Our struggles are largely invisible compared to much more vocal pressure groups and tend to be dealt with both within  families and the educational system and though charities. 

 

There are a lot of dyslexic entrepreneurs,  scientists and artists but also we are overrepresented in the prison system. Which begs the question do we fail the system or does the system fail us ? This disparity leads me to believe that there is no doubt a class divide in how Dyslexia is treated . 

 

I’ve heard people disparagingly say that dyslexia is how the middle classes describe their thick children. This is a horrible sentiment, but dyslexia does disproportionately effect the working class and the woeful statistics bear this out. 

Personally I believe if you’re born into a wealthy family it negates some of the drawbacks of being dyslexic as you  have more resources for solving problems inherent with the condition. 

Successful dyslexics are promoted in the media showing how it does nt have to be a barrier. For me though this is a half truth and a very unhelpful one at that. 

 Do we genuinely believe children in private education experience  the same problems as someone with dyslexia growing up poor on a council estate ? That’s not to say that they don’t have any problems at all,  just that they have more means  to overcome those problems. Kate Griggs is dyslexic advocate   who runs the charity made by dyslexia she attended a private school that was specially set up to help children with dyslexia. Her experiences and those of her children who are dyslexic are far different from mine,  she’s doing a lot in schools to help change attitudes. She does state however in her Ted talk  that the school she attended charges higher fees than Eton or Harrow something far beyond the means of the average British household. 

 

I was born with dyslexia and I am stuck with it till I pop my clogs. 

 Someone once wrote a book called the “gift of Dyslexia “ and one pithy child and learning the name of the book responded “if it’s a gift can I give it back? “I’ve got to admit I feel the same way myself very often , I feel rightly or wrongly if I did nt have it life would be a lot easier not because I have a disability ( which is debatable the whole neuro diversity movement would argue I have a learning difference rather than a disability) but rather that the education system and society in general is nt set up to cater for people like me. We are the proverbial round pegs in a square hole. I have what they call a spiky intelligence profile where somethings come very easily to me that most people seem to struggle with then  I’ll struggle with things that most people find easy. There are strengths to Dyslexia such as lateral thinking and creative abilities but these must be nurtured and developed. Any  innate ability has to be nurtured and may well take extra time to develop as dyslexic children do not pass developmental milestones at the same rate as other children,  this throws in to question the efficacy of standard tests when applied to Dyslexia. 

 

In the workplace I feel a lot is left to be desired I was happiest when I worked for self as a personal trainer as I don’t have to answer to anyone else really the ideal job for someone with dyslexia and no written reports . I have good people skills so I enjoyed talking to my clients in what I called my hairdressers chat how’s the wife ? how’s the kids ? where are you going on holiday? I got to know them and their needs and that was my feedback on my performance.

 

In terms of adaptive technology in the workplace , It has been my experience that companies just pay lip service to the idea rather than doing anything to genuinely adapt their workspaces to people with dyslexia. This has been my experience anyway hopefully it’s changing they do say that AI coming into the workplace will help people with dyslexia but I’ve no idea how that will work but as I ve already said technology Solutions seem to work well in some circumstances. 

After I left university I casually mentioned in a job interview about the adaptive technology I used to get through university and how I would use it in the workplace and they told to me how this would be a problem for them in their open plan office( so much for reasonable adjustment). 

The question in job interviews has always been  whether to tell people I’m dyslexic or not ? Weather telling them would just rule me out from getting the job , this is a real concern for me 

 and I am sure I am not on my own in wondering weather to tell a potential employer or not. After all if you tell an employer at  interview they should be able to make adjustments for you but if it cuts you out from getting the job in the first place due to their ignorance of my condition . Whats the point in telling them.   As a group we are often unemployed or underemployed which puts huge  economic drain on the country.

 

Computers can be a great aide to learning however they can be very  frustrating as well. I sometimes wish my laptop had a just do what I want you to  do it button some applications are not inherently dyslexia friendly as with most things in society and they were not made with us in mind with hidden barriers to their easy usage. 

Such  as passwords which are a massive pain in the bum as I can never remember them and when they are hidden whilst typing this adds a layer of trouble with using them . I tend to just use the easy to use applications on the computer. I hate using the laptops at work as they have no adaptive technology unlike the laptop I use at home which I have set up to my needs with no passwords I couldn’t get give a damn if it’s not secure I,am the only one using it. 

 

I’ve attended a couple of Dyslexia support Group’s in the past and it is definitely useful to meet up with people who experience the same problems as you and are looking for solutions. After all two heads are better than one and a large group can be full of ideas there’s also a lot of positive things happening online especially on YouTube with people sharing their experiences and even questioning some of the ideas coming out of academia or in books on Dyslexia. I’ve read so much contradictory stuff about dyslexia it’s hard to know what’s true and what isn’t. Knowing what other dyslexic individuals have applied successfully is definitely useful. 

 

It’s good people write about some of the positive aspects of Dyslexia but much of it is written in such a generalised manner that their advice is completely unhelpful.  Saying things like dyslexics are very good at being creative. What  is that meant to mean ? Surely you only improve at  any endeavour by practising at it it’s not an innate thing is it? I’ve become skilled at creative writing but only though practice and encouragement. 

 

Describing dyslexia or other neuro diverse conditions as a superpower is unhelpful quite frankly, just putting a positive spin on things does nt make any of the difficulties go away.Whats needed is a practical approach to improving things both in schools and in the workplace and genuinely listening to people like myself in an open dialogue with the aim of improving services and social conditions not just paying us lip service.