Life, the Universe and Everything Else

Well I've been stood up for a date with the man of my dreams so I'm
feeling blue and introspective about everything. I watched Ghandi to
cheer myself up... but perhaps I shuld have thought that one through
first huh?

Why is everything always so hard? Thats the question which seems to be
going round and round in my head tonight.

It seems as though there's a giant conspiracy to keep me alone. I aways
seem to be alone. I was alone during my parents divorce, during my
mothers illness, when she died I did it all by myself. Picked my self
up and reminded myself that it wouldn't be like that for ever.

But I don't know about that. I didn't do anything wrong that I can see
and yet...he's not here. He'd rather be drinking in london than be here
with me and I can't beleive how much it hurts.

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. I'm always the
friend. Always the friend but never the girlfriend except to losers who
hurt me.

Perhaps I should remain alone.

Alone and unloved. Maybe if I accept that it won't seem so hard when
thats exactly what happens.

I just wish I wasn't so afraid of forever.