The Untold Story of a Grim Reaper: Chapter 5: Key & Signature

 

I snuck out of the party through the bathroom window, after seeing my reflection I felt my tricks for staying stable were running thin. 

I stepped back into the woods and spread out my coal wings. 

My friend, the purple-eyed crow, rejoined me with several of its sisters and brothers. 

In a swift take off, all the crows clumped together into a sheet of black that melted into the glowing boy. 

Eli’s demeanor was cold and deep. I sensed his arrival was more than just to check in with me, “Eli, must I perform my first reaping?”

Eli frowned and nodded. I had a pain in my chest created from the fear of what this would be like. He reached out his hand and I reluctantly gave him mine. He pulled me in closer,  “I’ll teach you the craft of reaping.”

We sank into the shadows of the woods. A quicksand like portal brought us to a pitch-black abyss. The atmosphere was endless yet limiting. I felt like I could walk on forever as much as I felt like I couldn’t move. 

Eliakim explained, “This sanctuary is the House of Oblivion. You may remember it when you first awoke from your death.” I nodded, he continued in rather a formal tone, “This is where the sand will take you first to prep you for reaping. It also is where all souls must be taken before their sentencing. Understand?”

I nodded yes again but dared not speak a word. 

The sanctuary was beautiful yet haunting to me, everything in this room of oblivion stirred a war in me.

A hushing purr grew in the space. Eliakim took a step a head of me, he instructed, “Open your wings.” He saw my question push at my tongue as he interrupted, “Open them so you can wear them as a cloak. No living soul can see you when you wear them.”

I took a step back, feeling a bit of stage-fright that someone was watching me. Awkwardly, I opened my feathered sails; one came out faster than the other, causing me to clumsily slant to the left before the other wing could help my balance. 

Without anymore instruction, Eliakim walked ahead of me towards the sound of the quicksand. I followed on his heels, not wanting to be left behind in this place I had yet to figure out.

Eliakim and I simultaneously stepped into the swirling black pearls at our feet, reappearing in slightly large bathroom. I heard the faint sound of a TV turned on and the chatter of boys. They had no idea. 

In an empty tub laid a ginger, middle-aged woman and empty bottles of pills and wine. She looked like a younger Ardith. 

I felt the tears inside me but nothing could appear on my eyes, I felt heartless by the stone cold expression that was left by this tearless void. Eliakim looked at me, almost angry, “Let’s begin.”

I walked toward the pale body to kneel beside Eli, speaking for the first time since we began, “What first?”

“Take out the bag of stones I gave you.” I did so. He continued, “Place one in her mouth.” I hesitated for I did not want to touch a corpse. Almost annoyed, “Yes, you’re going to have to touch a dead body.”

“But why?”

“So no other soul can enter in the body, so nothing can posses it.”

Giving a large sigh, I looked inside the sack and saw no stones. Yet holding it in my hand I could feel several shifting and clicking.

Eli, “Put your hand in the sack and pull out a stone.” 

I reached into the pouch and my fingers felt the smooth pebble. I took it out and examined it to further delay what I must do with it.

With one hand I pinched her jaw. Her face was still warm. In my jumpiness, I accidentally dropped the stone, making a loud clack. Wincing I looked back at Eliakim’s displeased reaction. He assured though, “It’s fine. Keep going.” 

Making it worse for myself, I had to lean the body forward to get the stone. Once my finger grabbed it, I shakily leaned her back and pulled down her bottom lip to place the stone within her breathless mouth. I wiped my hands on my pants frantically to get the residue of saliva from my fingertips. Still shaking, I waited for further instruction. 

Eliakim continued, “Reveal to me your arms.” 

I took off my flannel to expose my arms and the black markings that sat on them.

I asked, “What do they mean?”

“They’re your key and signature for taking their souls from their body to limbo. What I need you to do is cross your arms around yourself, like a hug. Place your hands over the marks.” I did as he instructed. I crossed my hands to the opposite arm and placed them over my marks.

Eliakim, “Now tighten your grip and force a breath.” 

I forced a lifeless breath and felt the marks slip from my arms to my hands.

He continues, “Souls are torn through the throat. The throat is the door to the soul. Just reach both hands into her neck, you’ll know you’ve found the soul once you feel it, and pull it from her.”

I couldn’t take my stare off my hands. Shaking from unease I, again, did as he told. 

My hands slipped peacefully into her throat. Right away I felt a solid, smooth being in her. When I pulled out the soul of this poor life my heart felt like it was being squeezed, like the frozen mass of a heart I was given became heavier and denser. 

I pulled out what seemed to be a ball of smoke trying to take shape. The twists and the curls of the smoke took a familiar structure. First hands, then feet, legs, chest, and finally a face. What made up this creature still shifted around like smoke, but it’s shape was a child. Or to me it looked like a small person.

Child’s eyes drooped open and she gave the slightest cry. I looked at Eliakim, whose eyes were on the misty child, and then looked back at the woman in the tub.

The child grew more conscious and gave a soft but louder whimper. It didn’t stop but got worse. Her cries transitioned into wails, arms flailing, leg’s kicking. The smoke started to get bigger and darker. 

I tried to hold on to the child but it kept slipping through my fingers.

Eli put his hand on my shoulder, “Wait, I want you to watch.”

The child spun like a small tornado and moved back toward the body. The smoke moved and up and down the body, trying to find a way back in. Pouncing and rushing to every possible way back in. But the stone prevented such return. 

Eli, “This is why it’s so important to place the stone in first. If that soul were to return, this woman would not be the woman she was before.”

“Even with her own soul?”

“The soul’s been touched by death. It’s not the same soul. This soul has no idea that’s its former body either, it’s simply drawn to the closest empty shell.”

“How do we take it to purgatory?”

“Singing.”

This seemed inappropriate, “why singing?”

“You’re somewhat of a siren. You’re voice has the gift of obedience, as death, all those who haven’t passed through purgatory must obey. I know you’ve already used this ability.” 

My embarrassed shrug was all I could give.

“You’ll find you have many abilities that work on instinct, without any practice or prior knowledge, you can perform them.”

I became fixated on the smoke, it’s relentless need to return to the body, “What should I sing?”

“Hums or using la’s to a basic tune are fine.”

“And once I do so, it will be taken to be judged?”

“All souls must in order to find rest.”

My tone and expression darkened, “I cannot find any mercy in any of this, in bringing this soul to judgement. And the judgement that was made on my soul. I am a child, why can’t I be given my peace. Peace I deserve.”

Eli’s eyes squinted in anger, “Yes, you are a child. And with such childish, selfish thoughts you will never find peace. You cannot whine to someone who suffered for a hundred and forty years about your struggles.” He became colder and I felt smaller, “You took your own life, just as I had done. You tried to escape the worries and evils of this world and now expect your consolation prize. That’s not how life works, that’s not how death works. You cannot reap such a benefit like peace with the hatred and anger you have conducting in you. You had the free will. You had the choice. You always have a choice. So don’t speak to me about the fairness, mercy, and peace that you deserve when you have done nothing to earn it.”

Eli’s history brewed in his eyes. And I saw that Eli was nothing like the man he used to be. And I acknowledged that there was something in his past, in his history, that pushed him into this darkness. 

I hated myself for upsetting him so much, but my apology was less than genuine, “I’m sorry. I know.” 

We stood in silence for a while until Eli’s formal attitude said it was time to return to work, “Sing.”

Clearing my throat, I hummed an unidentifiable tune. No emotions behind it and was very dry but the soul started to calm and return to me. It reformed itself into a child and swayed to my song.

Eli turned and walked to the swirling, black circle of sand. I followed and so did the soul. 

A thought bounced in my head as I took this soul to judgment. Currently, I was holding the place of suicide reaper for ever how far my jurisdiction dictates. And if I graduated… I would be setting up a soul to take my place. And I wasn’t sure if graduating was worth it anymore. 

We collected in the same black abyss of a room and I waited for my instructions. 

The soul danced around me as the smoke curled and fanned at my sides while I hummed.

Eli spoke over my humming, “Catch the soul in your hands.”

This time the soul willingly jumped into my palms and allowed me to hold it. It rather tickled as its constant shifting shape warped between my fingers. 

Eli, “Now we wait.”

“Wait for what?”

“A portal, time in every realm passed differently.”

“So we’re in a different realm… that’s not purgatory?”

“Think of purgatory like a heart. And all the other realms run throughout but still serve their own purpose. We currently are in the reapers domain, the House of Oblivion.”

“What’s purpose does it serve?”

“It’s where the lost gather. That is why this is your home.”

The world began to whisper beneath our feet and a portal of black pearls began to turn into each other. 

“It’s time to let it go.”

“I’m scared for it. I don’t want to send it to be condemned.”

Eli took the soul from my hands, “A soul needs judgement, that’s the only way for the soul to know it’s important.” He paused, “Or… well… that’s how I see it.”

He handed the soul back to me and pointed his nod toward the portal beneath us. I guided the soul toward the center of the quicksand and felt a pull dragging my hands closer. I released the soul and watched it catch onto the black pebbles, it was carried to follow the current until it was out of sight.

The portal solidified and Eliakim gave one last guidance, “I will no longer return to bring news of work. That is now the responsibility of your spirit. Send for me if you need me, but remember can’t hold your hand for much longer. God bless.”

I worriedly looked at Eliakim but he vanished into the House of Oblivion. 

Even though he was gone the portal remained and I knew that was my only way out as well.

I fixated on the portal and began wondering if someone could have saved her. Wondering if she could have saved herself. And knowing very well that I delivered her to possible damnation… so that I may graduate into paradise. 

And with this guilt, the anger I felt towards myself stirred as loud as the quicksand in front of me. For now I could do nothing to prevent this. I could no longer save. And I hated myself so deeply in this outcome. What would the point of learning some lesson or finding some sort of peace if I cannot allow others to learn from it too. What good am I doing?

We dream to be something more than what we are but at what cost? 

At what point do we lose our humanity to be strong? All this power I have is only for my own use, only for my own benefit. 

Are Ardith and Eli trying reflect my selfishness? Was it selfish for me to take my life, therefore I’m damned to have power that only accomplishes what profits me? 

No matter how I tried to shake those thoughts from my bones, they kept clinging on, becoming denser and harder to carry. 

I  wanted to feel powerful all my life… or rather, I wanted to feel not so helpless. And the only thing I had control over was living or dying. So I took control and cured myself of life and now am reaping all of its consequences.