A Wanting

And what do you want?
I don't know.
I can't say.

I have this Idea.
Sort of,
it's distant.

I want to know it.
I want to get it.
People get it,
but they don't.

I see it near me.
Then not, suddenly.
I want to hear it
but it goes.

It doesn't wave anymore.
It only smiles,
and coughs.
and frowns inside.

I think it can't see me.
or maybe it can't hear.
But I know it's still there.

We used to be friends.
this idea
and me.
but we aren't
and everyone knows.

I used to get it.
preach it.
But I don't think it cares.

Though, do I want it?
I do,
the thoughts don't seem to stop.

I just cant express it.
It's confusing.
but this seems to be my best.