Howdini
By well-wisher
Fri, 12 Feb 2016
- 870 reads
No one knows for sure who the magician was; only that he called himself "The Great Howdini", that he rolled into town one day in a cockamamey wagon that looked more like a Gypsy caravan than a stagecoach and that, when he left, he had shot Luke Perrymore and his gang dead.
Perrymore had been terrorising the folks of Silver Canyon for 6 years; robbing the ranchers and the miners and causing mayhem within the town on a daily basis and so everyone was just praying that someone would turn up who would put him in his place.
But no one expected the great Howdini to be the one, at least not when he first stepped down from his wagon doffed that ridiculous oversized top hat, white doves flapping out of it, and said to all the folks traversing up and down Main Street in a booming but elegant showman's voice,
"Ladies and Gentleman of Silver Canyon. Tonight. The great Howdini, the greatest prestidigitator and worker of wonders in 5 continents, cordially invites you all to a magic show, to be held just outside of your fair town. The price of admission, a measly 25 cents; no more than the price of a decent haircut but, ladies and gentlemen, you will not be scalped because for that puny quarter of a dollar you will see sights the like of which you could never have believed possible. Miracles, not to speak irreligiously mind you, but miracles not seen since the days of Abraham and Jonah, since Moses parted the red sea".
"You gonna get swallowed by a whale", asked Jed Calhoun, an old prospector, slapping his side and laughing, "I'd pay to see that".
"Maybe", the magician replied, pulling a flyer out from under Jeds old hat and handing it to him, "Maybe, sir. You'll just have to come along and find out and there'll be a 5 cent discount for the elderly".
But then, about that very moment, the towns Sherrif, Sherrif Howard who everyone called Howard the Coward on account of how he let Perrymore push him about, came out from his office and, striding across the street, said to the magician,
"I'd keep riding on if I were you stranger".
"Ride on?", replied the magician, "But, Sherriff. I'm no swindler or penny ante peddlar of snake oil and charms. I only wish to entertain the good people of this town; give them a show that none of them will ever forget; that years from now they can tell their grandchildren about".
"I'm not saying your a crook, mister", said the Sherrif, "I'm just saying that this town aint no place for travelling magicians or theatricals. You see we have problems round here; problems with a gang of outlaws that often come into town causing trouble and if they see anyone they don't like; anyone making a spectacle of themselves then that persons liable to get themselves shot up".
"Oh well, Sherrif", said the magician, "You know, I'm no stranger to trouble. I've performed in towns all up and down the west and I've met a lot of unsavoury characters the way your outlaws sound. Why I even pulled a nickel out from behind Wild Bill Hickocks ear and then I saw him shoot it right off the saloon counter".
"I don't care if you pulled a jackrabbit out of his behind", said the Sherrif, "You're not stopping here and thats the end of it. Now, I'll give you till sundown to get yourself out of town. Perhaps the folks in the next town might want to see a show. But if I see you here after sundown, I'm going to lock you up".
Just then, however, thats when Perrymore and two of his gang came riding down the street and when they overheard what was being said, Perrymore got off his horse and strode over to where the Sherrif and the Magician were standing.
"Having trouble sherrif", asked Perrymore, placing a right hand upon the handle of one of his pistols.
"Nothing that I can't take care of, Luke", said the Sherrif, "Just some theatrical riding through town who thought he was gonna put on a show here but he's change his mind".
Perrymore smirked.
"Well if he wants to put on a show", said the outlaw, "I've got a show he can put on. How about he meets me and my boys in the centre of town about sunset, puts on a pair of guns and faces us. If he can walk out of here alive then that'd certainly be one durn neat trick".
"Well now Luke", said the Sherrif, starting to panic, "Theres no need for that. This fella was just about to leave".
But then, shocking the sherrif and everyone round about who could hear, thats when the magician thrust out one of his white gloved hands for Perrymore to shake and said, with a wry smile,
"Challenge accepted, my friend and if I win then I hope the Sherrif will allow me to perform my show for the people of the town"
"If you win I'll eat my hat", said the Sherrif looking amazed like he'd just seen a unicorn dressed like a dance hall girl, "All ten gallons of it".
And thats how it happened; how the great Howdini came to face the Perrymore gang in a gunfight.
Ofcourse everyone in town was sure that the Magician was a gonner and Bill Munny, the town undertaker even asked him if he could measure him up from one of his caskets but then when, the sun finally started to fall over the rooves of silver canyon and Luke and his gang; all five of them, rode into town like the shadowy horsemen of the apocalypse, the magician stepped out of the back of his caravan and just stood there in the centre of main street waiting for them; with his white gloved hands upon his hips and a confident smile upon his face.
"I felt sure you was gonna pull a vanishing trick on us", said Perrymore, laughing as he got down from his horse and saw Howdini, "But you really are gonna go through with this aren't you? Well, your either a hell of a magician or one crazy son of a bitch".
"How do you want to do this?", said the Magician, "I usually say abracadabra before I do a trick".
"No thats too long", said Perrymore, "Draw will do just fine".
"Very well", said Howdini, "On the count of ten then".
And then came one of the most tense ten seconds I have ever seen in my life; everyone in town, I know praying that, like moses facing the pharoah, the magician had something besides a shirt up his sleeves.
But then, suddenly, like thunder striking six times all at once, Luke and his boys all reached for their pistols and there was the sound of gun fire.
And one by one Luke and all the members of his gang fell down, like felled timbers, hitting the ground.
There was nothing but silence then and disbelief at what had happened but then, when everyone watching realised that what had just happened was real; that Luke and his gang were dead there was a roar; I'd say a thunderclap of cheering even louder than the gunfire that had preceeded it.
"I don't believe it", said the Sherrif, running out of his office to see the bodies close up and prod them like doubting Thomas, "How the hell did you do that?".
"Well a magician doesn't like to give away how his tricks are done", said Howdini, "But just this once I'll let you all into a little secret"
Then, a pair of pistol wielding hands emmerging from the front of the magicians frilly white shirt, he took off a tail coat with fake arms resting on its sides.
"Now", said Howdini, "For my next trick...".
Perrymore had been terrorising the folks of Silver Canyon for 6 years; robbing the ranchers and the miners and causing mayhem within the town on a daily basis and so everyone was just praying that someone would turn up who would put him in his place.
But no one expected the great Howdini to be the one, at least not when he first stepped down from his wagon doffed that ridiculous oversized top hat, white doves flapping out of it, and said to all the folks traversing up and down Main Street in a booming but elegant showman's voice,
"Ladies and Gentleman of Silver Canyon. Tonight. The great Howdini, the greatest prestidigitator and worker of wonders in 5 continents, cordially invites you all to a magic show, to be held just outside of your fair town. The price of admission, a measly 25 cents; no more than the price of a decent haircut but, ladies and gentlemen, you will not be scalped because for that puny quarter of a dollar you will see sights the like of which you could never have believed possible. Miracles, not to speak irreligiously mind you, but miracles not seen since the days of Abraham and Jonah, since Moses parted the red sea".
"You gonna get swallowed by a whale", asked Jed Calhoun, an old prospector, slapping his side and laughing, "I'd pay to see that".
"Maybe", the magician replied, pulling a flyer out from under Jeds old hat and handing it to him, "Maybe, sir. You'll just have to come along and find out and there'll be a 5 cent discount for the elderly".
But then, about that very moment, the towns Sherrif, Sherrif Howard who everyone called Howard the Coward on account of how he let Perrymore push him about, came out from his office and, striding across the street, said to the magician,
"I'd keep riding on if I were you stranger".
"Ride on?", replied the magician, "But, Sherriff. I'm no swindler or penny ante peddlar of snake oil and charms. I only wish to entertain the good people of this town; give them a show that none of them will ever forget; that years from now they can tell their grandchildren about".
"I'm not saying your a crook, mister", said the Sherrif, "I'm just saying that this town aint no place for travelling magicians or theatricals. You see we have problems round here; problems with a gang of outlaws that often come into town causing trouble and if they see anyone they don't like; anyone making a spectacle of themselves then that persons liable to get themselves shot up".
"Oh well, Sherrif", said the magician, "You know, I'm no stranger to trouble. I've performed in towns all up and down the west and I've met a lot of unsavoury characters the way your outlaws sound. Why I even pulled a nickel out from behind Wild Bill Hickocks ear and then I saw him shoot it right off the saloon counter".
"I don't care if you pulled a jackrabbit out of his behind", said the Sherrif, "You're not stopping here and thats the end of it. Now, I'll give you till sundown to get yourself out of town. Perhaps the folks in the next town might want to see a show. But if I see you here after sundown, I'm going to lock you up".
Just then, however, thats when Perrymore and two of his gang came riding down the street and when they overheard what was being said, Perrymore got off his horse and strode over to where the Sherrif and the Magician were standing.
"Having trouble sherrif", asked Perrymore, placing a right hand upon the handle of one of his pistols.
"Nothing that I can't take care of, Luke", said the Sherrif, "Just some theatrical riding through town who thought he was gonna put on a show here but he's change his mind".
Perrymore smirked.
"Well if he wants to put on a show", said the outlaw, "I've got a show he can put on. How about he meets me and my boys in the centre of town about sunset, puts on a pair of guns and faces us. If he can walk out of here alive then that'd certainly be one durn neat trick".
"Well now Luke", said the Sherrif, starting to panic, "Theres no need for that. This fella was just about to leave".
But then, shocking the sherrif and everyone round about who could hear, thats when the magician thrust out one of his white gloved hands for Perrymore to shake and said, with a wry smile,
"Challenge accepted, my friend and if I win then I hope the Sherrif will allow me to perform my show for the people of the town"
"If you win I'll eat my hat", said the Sherrif looking amazed like he'd just seen a unicorn dressed like a dance hall girl, "All ten gallons of it".
And thats how it happened; how the great Howdini came to face the Perrymore gang in a gunfight.
Ofcourse everyone in town was sure that the Magician was a gonner and Bill Munny, the town undertaker even asked him if he could measure him up from one of his caskets but then when, the sun finally started to fall over the rooves of silver canyon and Luke and his gang; all five of them, rode into town like the shadowy horsemen of the apocalypse, the magician stepped out of the back of his caravan and just stood there in the centre of main street waiting for them; with his white gloved hands upon his hips and a confident smile upon his face.
"I felt sure you was gonna pull a vanishing trick on us", said Perrymore, laughing as he got down from his horse and saw Howdini, "But you really are gonna go through with this aren't you? Well, your either a hell of a magician or one crazy son of a bitch".
"How do you want to do this?", said the Magician, "I usually say abracadabra before I do a trick".
"No thats too long", said Perrymore, "Draw will do just fine".
"Very well", said Howdini, "On the count of ten then".
And then came one of the most tense ten seconds I have ever seen in my life; everyone in town, I know praying that, like moses facing the pharoah, the magician had something besides a shirt up his sleeves.
But then, suddenly, like thunder striking six times all at once, Luke and his boys all reached for their pistols and there was the sound of gun fire.
And one by one Luke and all the members of his gang fell down, like felled timbers, hitting the ground.
There was nothing but silence then and disbelief at what had happened but then, when everyone watching realised that what had just happened was real; that Luke and his gang were dead there was a roar; I'd say a thunderclap of cheering even louder than the gunfire that had preceeded it.
"I don't believe it", said the Sherrif, running out of his office to see the bodies close up and prod them like doubting Thomas, "How the hell did you do that?".
"Well a magician doesn't like to give away how his tricks are done", said Howdini, "But just this once I'll let you all into a little secret"
Then, a pair of pistol wielding hands emmerging from the front of the magicians frilly white shirt, he took off a tail coat with fake arms resting on its sides.
"Now", said Howdini, "For my next trick...".
- Log in to post comments