The Pretty Amazon

There was once an Amazon girl named Alma who was very, very, very beautiful. Unfortunately for her; within the culture of her people, physical attractiveness was not considered an important asset.

An Amazon, you see, was expected to be at least one of the 4 S’s; smart, strong, swift or skilful because you see, these were the attributes which a made a great warrior.

Alma’s three sisters were all natural born warriors and her two mothers often said to her, sighing disappointedly,

“Oh Alma, why can’t you be more like your older sisters”.

One day however, Hippolyta, the Queen of the Amazons announced that there was to be a great sporting contest; the winner of which would receive a golden trophy and all the strongest, swiftest, smartest and most skilful Amazon warriors were to enter it.

And because they were such great warriors, Alma’s parents took her three sisters to enter the contest but they left poor Alma at home.

“You cannot enter”, they said, “because your just pretty; pretty weak; pretty guileless; pretty clumsy and pretty slow and pretty’s not much good for anything”.

However, while Alma was sitting at home feeling sad because she couldn’t go to the contest, suddenly the morning star (also called the evening star) or venus, came down from the sky and floated in through a window of the room where Alma was sitting before turning into the Goddess Venus.

“Who are you?”, asked Alma, when she saw the goddess.

“I am Venus, Goddess of love and beauty. It is I who gave you your entrancing beauty and allure and it pains me to see it so undervalued. Why don’t you know that beauty is one of natures greatest weapons; it is the power of seduction”.

“Weapon? Power?”, said Alma, her head in her hands, “Not in Amazon society. Among Amazons, your nobody unless you’re smart, strong, skilful or swift. Here pretty girls are the runt of the litter”.

“Well”, said Venus, “That is why I am going to help you win that trophy so you’ll finally be appreciated”.

“Me win the trophy?”, laughed Alma, “Are you kidding? The best Amazon warriors in all the kingdom will be competing in that contest. I wouldn’t stand a chance against them”.

But then Venus told the girl to look in her mirror and, when she did, to her astonishment Alma saw that she was wearing boots with winged heels upon her feet and armoured gauntlets upon her hands and a helmet covered in owl feathers and, in her hands was a spear made of gold”.

“Where did they come from?”, gasped Alma in surprise.

“I put them there”, said Venus, “The winged boots will make you as swift as Mercury, the owl feathered helmet will make you as smart as the Goddess of wisdom, Minerva; the gauntlets will give you the strength of Hercules and the spear, all the warrior skill of Mars, God of War”.

“Oh, I’d really like to win that trophy”, said Alma, “Just so that my Mothers would finally feel proud of me”.

But then Alma looked at her Sundial.

“Oh, but there isn’t time”, she said, “The contest will be starting any moment and the stadium where its being held is a mile from here”.

“Huh!”, scoffed Venus, “A mile or an inch, it’s all the same to a goddess”.

Then Venus told the girl to close her eyes and open them again and, when she did, she saw that she was no longer in her house but standing outside the Royal Amazonian Stadium where the contest was being held.

“Wow”, said Alma.

Venus smiled proudly, but then she said,

“Now go and win that trophy and make your parents proud”.

And so Alma entered the stadium and signed up for the first of the contests; the contest of swiftness which was to see who could be first to run 5 times round the stadium  and Alma ran so fast that she had run round the stadium ten times before the other contestants had even finished the first lap.

But then she entered the test of smartness which was a contest to see who could finish a puzzle with a thousand intricate pieces first and, because she was wearing the helmet of Minerva, Alma merely had to throw a piece up in the air and it would land in the right place so that while others were making their plans and thinking about the best way to solve it, Alma had already completed it.

But next she entered the test of strength in which contestants had to roll a gigantic boulder up a hill but, because she had all the strength of Hercules, Alma merely picked up the boulder like a bowling ball and bowled it to the top of the hill.

Finally, Alma entered the contest of skill in which she had to throw a spear and hit a magical moving target called a Macrodon which darted here and there, left, right up and down as fast as a humming bird but, because she had the magical golden spear which gave her the skill of Mars, not only did she hit the target but she also hit a fly that just happened to be buzzing past, pinning it dead centre.

And, when she did this, the roar from the ecstatic crowd which filled the stadium was deafening.

And her parents just couldn’t believe it was true when it was announced that the amazing Amazon who had won all 4 of the contests was none other than their Alma.

But then, as she was standing upon a podium ready to receive her trophy, Alma looked around at the cheering crowd and started to feel bad.

“They don’t like me for who I am”, she thought, “They only like me because of what they think I am”.

And so, taking off her Helmet, her gauntlets and her boots and laying down her spear; Alma confessed everything to the crowd.

“My fellow Amazonians”, she said, hanging her head in shame, “I'm very sorry to say that I have deceived you all. The truth is that I did not win the contest by fair means but by using magical armour”.

Unfortunately for poor Alma, when the Amazons heard what had happened they started to boo and throw things at her which, because they were all skilful at throwing, mostly managed to hit her head and then Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, standing up from her throne next to the podium, said,

“Alma, because you have done this you have brought shame to your family and to your people and so, I’m afraid, you must be exiled from our kingdom. You shall be taken to the wilderness beyond our borders and, there, left to fend for yourself”.

And so Alma was taken out to the edge of the wilderness by Amazonian warriors with long spears and forced, at spear point into the forest.

But then, as she was wandering, sobbing, through the forest, suddenly the young Amazon saw a gigantic, terrifying creature called a Gravelax coming towards her; a monster with a hundred snapping crocodile heads.

“Oh no”, said Alma backing up against the trunk of a tree and cowering in fear, “I’m not a warrior like my sisters. I can’t fight that thing. What’ll I do?”.

But then, suddenly, out of nowhere appeared a man; the Prince of Athens, riding upon a white horse and, seeing Alma about to be eaten up by a hundred snapping Gravelax jaws; bravely, he leapt from his horse and then, running towards the monster, hurdled over its heads onto its scaly back; then, raising his sword high, he drove it deep into the centre of the beasts back, splitting its cold, scaly heart in two.

Then, much to Almas relief, she saw the beast scream from its hundred mouths before, closing its two hundred eyes and rolling over onto its back, it died.

“You saved me”, said Alma, “Oh, how can I ever thank you?”.

“Fair maiden”, he said, kneeling before her, “How could I stand by and watch a radiant flower be devoured by that hideous, evil monster”.

“You think I am a radiant flower?”, asked Alma, confused, “I do not know if I like being thought of as a flower. It isn’t seemly for an Amazon to be compared to a flower”.

But there was something in the Amazons heart that liked the words she was hearing.

“What is that feeling inside my heart?”, she thought.

 “Destiny”, said Venus speaking to her from somewhere inside her head.

“Destiny?”, asked Alma.

“The voice of destiny”, said Venus, “It is your destiny to meet this man and fall in love”.

“Oh but I meant it only as a compliment”, said the prince, smiling, “And now that I have looked upon your face nothing else seems as bright, not even the twinkling heavens overhead”.

Alma felt that feeling in her heart again

“But how can it be my destiny. I am an Amazon. Amazons do not fall in love with men. They’re warriors”, she thought

“Alma, if the gods had meant you to be a warrior, they would have made you a warrior”, said Venus, “But they didn’t. They made you a princess. A beautiful princess”.

“A princess?”, thought Alma, “No that can’t be”.

“Search your heart, Alma”, said Venus, “You know it to be true. Your destiny is with this young man”.

Alma looked into the prince’s eyes and he looked into hers and, suddenly, some magical force of love that Venus had placed in them both brought them together.

“Oh it’s true, it’s true”, said Alma, out loud, with her hand upon her heart.

“What is true?”, asked the Prince.

“That the Gods meant us to be together”, said Alma.

“Yes”, said the Prince, stunned, but ecstatic,“I feel that way too”.

And so, only the next day, Alma married the prince within the temple of Venus in the city of Athens and, though it was so different to the life that Alma had been raised to believe she should lead, still she found that she had a natural aptitude for it, as if she had been born for the role of Princess and together she and her husband lived happily ever after.