The Real Thing (Flash Fiction)

I downloaded Delilah from the Interweb. My very own virtual girlfriend. "Terrific!", I thought.

And she had everything I wanted in a woman; she was tall, beautiful, sophisticated and glamorous
with shoulder length brown hair and matching hazel eyes; a figure to die for and even various free add-ons such as Shiatsu massage, Pole dancing and a selection of foreign accents.

And I can’t say that it wasn’t wonderful being her boyfriend because it was; it really was. Probably the happiest time I’ve ever had in my adult life.

But then, about three weeks after our virtual relationship started, I got this message flashing up in my virtual bedroom from my Norton Virtual Anti-Virus.

“A sexually-transmitted computer virus has been detected on your computer”, it said.

“How could you?”, I asked Delilah as my computer started to crash, “I thought you loved me”.

But there was an even worse surprise to come ‘cause when I logged into my Virtual bank, the bank teller told me that six thousand pounds had been taken from my account by someone calling themselves Heartbreak PLC.

And I WAS heartbroken. I felt as if Delilah had stuck a virtual knife in me and I swore to myself that I’d never get involved with another virtual woman ever again.

But that’s before I saw this other advert for a company called Robotic Romance. com, that promised “Your very own android girlfriend, designed to your specifications and delivered straight to your door”.

Fingers crossed. This time it’ll be the real thing.