Hunting

style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'All men are
bastards.'

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">It had reached that point in the evening
again. Lips were pursed and heads slowly shaken as their eyes exchanged
knowing female looks. After each anecdote came the same conclusion. Men
are inferior and unfeeling; they cannot be trusted except to lie, about
everything. The women took thoughtful sips of their drinks and scanned
the bar below from their balcony table.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'I don't fancy anyone.' Kim declared with
a sigh.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Where are all the men? I mean the real
men? The rich ones?' Jem said it first, but it could have been any of
them talking. They were all looking for the same thing. They wanted men
with driving licenses and cars and proper jobs to come and rescue them
from 'being single'. To rescue them from the pity of their families,
from the 'don't worry, I'm sure someone will come along soon's, from
the smug mocking looks of the hand holding Sunday afternoon couples.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Where have all the white knights gone?'
Kim muttered, almost to
herself.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'We're moving into our new house soon!'
Helen beamed at the group. The group glared back. Helen was engaged.
Helen had a man. She was only allowed to be there if she did not talk
about it. She sipped her drink
apologetically.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Maybe we need to try something new?'
Emma was watching the group of young girls by the toilets. They hovered
there flexing their cleavages and waiting for a man on his way back to
the bar, hoping to catch his eye and score a drink. Down in the bar
below, groups of people gathered in circles, holding glasses and
shouting to each other above the deafening roar of urban music. At the
bar, the queue had become three people deep and while men battled to
leave with their pints in tact, women elbowed them in the stomachs and
backs for treading on their expensive shoes. Looking down on it was
like watching human Tetris. The doorman let the pieces drop and they
struggled to fit themselves into a space before they were trapped at an
odd angle. 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'If only we had fishing rods' mused Emma,
watching a group of men as they squeezed their way through the doors
and started a fourth layer of people at the bar.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'And what would we use for bait?' asked
Kim, also watching the group of men arriving. She was trying to see
their shoes. She had had bad experiences in the past with men in
sandals and brown suede footwear.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'How about a pint, a curry and sky
sports?' offered Helen. At least she was trying and the others
appreciated it with a chorus of amused snorts.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'More like a naked blonde with enormous
breasts!' Jem said, doing the gesture for enormous breasts at the same
time as catching the eye of the old man at the bar. He acknowledged it
with a wink and a smile. Jem looked away quickly and sought refuge
behind her glass.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Well, whatever it is that's needed to
catch a man, we need to find out quickly. Or we'll end up in a big
house full of cats and the smell of piss before we're forty!' Kim had
voiced the main fear of the group and although they laughed it was with
nervous glances at each other. The men at the downstairs bar had
reached the front, bought their drinks and battled their way through
the crowd to the stairs. As they climbed the stairs, the women flicked
their hair and giggled to each other. It was habit. It was well
rehearsed. And it worked. Appearing next to the table, the men nodded
greetings to the women and smiled, eyeing the selection on offer. Kim
finally had the chance to see their shoes. Not bad, one in trainers,
but the rest were all acceptable. Helen got up and headed for the
safety of the toilets leaving Jem, Kim and Emma to the men. The man in
the trainers then spotted a friend at the bar and left them, three men,
three women, to pair up for obligatory small talk. The women were bored
already.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'So, what's your name?' tried the first
man towards Jem.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'I find names aren't important' countered
Jem, looking away and taking a sip of her drink through her straw. He
raised his eyebrows and looked at his friends. They laughed
uncomfortably. And so the conversation continued to pick it's way
through the awkward silences and jarring comebacks until, admitting
defeat, the men made the excuse of another round and sought consolation
at the bar.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Mingers' concluded Kim.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Munters' agreed Emma and Jem.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Helen returned from the toilets.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">And then it happened. On Friday night in
the rat and parrot, in Cambridge, at around ten thirty on a November
evening, it finally happened. There was a tremendous smashing and
shattering of glass downstairs followed by hysterical screaming and
unfathomable panic as the crowd pushed to get out of the building
before they could see what had caused their hysteria and the broken
doors and windows. The women upstairs leaned over the balcony to see
what was happening below them. And they stood staring downwards,
open-mouthed, wide eyed. The people had cleared pretty quickly. The bar
staff were pressed against the bottles that lined the back wall,
clutching at each other, hands over their mouths and shaking their
heads. The bar manager, on hearing the noise had rushed from his
office, but now stood motionless in the doorway unable to believe what
he could see. 
There in the downstairs bar stood three knights in shining
armour. Three white knights who had used their swords to smash their
way into the bar. To smash their way gallantly into the bar and rescue
the princesses. To rescue the princesses who now stood gripping the
upstairs railing and looking to one another with questioning
incredulous expressions.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'Holy shit' gasped Helen, who never
swore. And then she passed out in shock.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">By now, they were the only people left in
the rat and parrot, apart from the staff who had all squeezed into the
office where the bar manager was now on the phone to the police.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'I'm telling you, three men in shining
bloody armour!' he was explaining for the second time.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt">'No, I haven't been drinking! How dare you!' and so the
conversation continued as the door was closed by one of the knights and
a chair placed against the handle to prevent any
interruptions.

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">The women were still standing upstairs
and had not said a word, apart from the unconscious Helen who was
sprawled on the carpet under their table. The knights did not speak
either. They looked up at the women and raised their swords then made
for the stairs and clanked their way up to the second floor. Each
knight on reaching the table took his turn at sweeping one of the women
off their feet and then carrying her back downstairs. Still no words
were spoken. They left the pub and made their way with heavy steps to
the multi-storey car park in the next street. There, on level two, the
knights had left three pure white horses tethered to the exit barriers.
The horses stamped their hooves as they watched the knights returning
with the women and flared their nostrils, blowing warm circles of hay
breath into the frosty air. Each knight placed his woman gently on to
the back of a horse and then, using the barrier for support, climbed up
to join her. Kim looked at Jem who looked at Emma and then back to Kim.
A slow smile spread across each surprised expression. And then they
were grinning, laughing, throwing their heads back and roaring into the
darkness of the sky above.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">'White knights!' they screamed at the
moon and the stars. 'White
knights!'

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">And then they were leaving the car park
and the street and the town. Galloping into the darkness, blood
pounding, rushing through their heads to the rhythmic beat of hooves on
tarmac, until the white horses sprouted wings. And they were lifted
into the sunrise ahead, above, around them, surrounded by light and
warmth and the arms of their knights in shining armour.

style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial"> 

class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt"> style="FONT-FAMILY:
Arial">