Waiting

Waiting

I'm waiting for you to say goodbye
I'm waiting to let you go
I'm waiting until the pain is beyond morphine
Beyond making it better
Beyond time heals and burning mementos with girlfriends in the back
garden
Beyond crying at the radio
Beyond you ever coming back
I'm burning bridges and roads and blocking all access routes
With cones of stubborn ignorant longing
I want you
I want you
I want to stop loving you
I'm waiting to wake up and be me
Me without you in my head, on my tongue, covering my body with your
hands and your sweat and your misplaced passion
To wake up and see you for what you are and always have been
Disappointing, in the distance, a distraction
I'm waiting for this to be over
To be over you
I love you and I shouldn't and it's hard to deal with sometimes
Stop fucking me
Over
And over
On your terms
While I'm waiting and scarred and scared and stupid
I'm waiting to fade from you
I'm turning the dimmer switch of my bulb in your life from evening to
midnight
I'm going home.