D:Imperium Incident part 1

The Imperium Incident

The abc Imperium had been happily quiet for several weeks

Lord Tony of the Imperium, Prime Lord of the Instrumentality was
relaxing at the Imperium Central Coffee Shop, which also served as the
nexus of the 'Starbucks' materialisation spur of abc. Gazing at the
pale yellow, cloudy liquid in his glass, he thought 'this stuff grows
on you, I should ask that Newbie for a few more crates'. Tony nibbled
his Kentucky Fried cock's leg. 'Hmm, crispy!' he muttered. 'Gods, I
sound like old Homer Simpson' Tony chuckled.

Meanwhile, outside of Tony's ken, a shadow was growing over the
Imperium.
"Lady Emily, please look at this!" the Lady Tess held out her
logiscreen to Emily, Lady of the Imperium, and Controller of the
Threads. Emily was dressed in a fetching little gold number, which Tess
really admired. The Lady Emily had earned her elevation to the ruling
elite following major problems on the threads, which she had helped
resolve.

"Gods!" Emily gasped "what does this mean, Tess?"

"It's a major incursion into our alter-existence!" Lady Tess exclaimed.
Emily craned forward. On the screen she could see the dark purple of
their alter-existence filling the screen. The quincunx sat in the
centre, five blue artefacts. Around them crackled the threads. All
seemed normal. But then Emily began to make out a shadow, creeping from
the bottom left-hand corner. It looked like a pincer-shaped cloud. It
had already spread around two of the quincunx elements, and was
clouding two more. At the focus of the pincer-shape, like a nut in a
nutcracker, was the fifth element, the prize!"

"How did you get this view, Tess?" Lady Emily was amazed - her own
screens gave no similar information. True, a couple of the threads had
been very quiet for some time, two others were slow, and even the
'general Discussion' thread was not crackling like it used to. The
threads had changed!!!

Emily realised that Tess was explaining "Well, Lady, I did a little
work on my logiscreen to combine different views and highlight
delta-differences in a hyper-logistic sense."

Emily was lost. She nodded confidently, using the number 2 leadership
nod she had learned at Lord-School.

"I see!" she lied "continue".

The Lady Tess was encouraged. From previous experience of Emily, she
did not rate her technical skills, but that Lord-School must be
something special!

" Well, I fettled this little doohickey and adjusted the twargle-screw
and got a macrocomposite infundiamental extrusion of the time-life
universe!"

Tess looked triumphant. 'Had she finished?' thought Emily. She waited,
counting the regulation Lord-count.

Obviously she had.

"Tess!"

The Lady Tess looked up, knowing that Lady Emily had considered deeply
and weighed much in the balance before coming to a conclusion.

"This is a matter for Lord Tony!"

'Phew!' thought Emily, 'dodged that nicely! Good command decision,
Em'

Tess was awed "The Lord Tony" she whispered as Emily whisked her
away.

*************

Tony listened closely.

"Ratings on the consumed elements have fallen drastically" Tess
explained.

"Stats!" Barked Tony.

"To date, 452 and 635 posts"

"Total?" Tony asked in disbelief.

Tess glanced at Emily, who had flushed. She knew Emily would feel
guilty about not spotting this herself. But secretly she thought 'this
could be my chance!' Taking a quick look at Emily, she replied:-

"Yes"

"Well, go on!" Emily commanded in a strained tone.

"OK, on the abc and other, 6,950 and 2,195"

"But ?.." Tony protested "that's so low!"

"Yes" Tess jumped in without the prescribed courtesy. Making a ritual
obeisance with a nod of her head, she continued "that's because the
'General' thread has 26, 906 posts!"

"Jeez!" Tony slapped his palm to his head. "Why didn't we know
this?"

Before Emily could stop her, it slipped out:-

"Accountants - have you got any accountants?"

Tony hit the roof.

"Gods! " he exclaimed. What is this? "Emily - get me one of those ? you
know?drinks!"

Emily knew that, now she was a Lady of the ruling echelon, Tony had no
right to speak to her in such a fashion. She knew, but her shame at not
spotting this terrible trend made her accept. She was glad for an
excuse to leave.

Scuttling attractively along the corridors of Imperium Central, Emily
went in search of that stuff the Newbie had donated. 'God' she
muttered. She never knew what it was called. 'Pale yellow, cloudy, ?.er
?.furry!" she yelled at the startled server.

"Lord Tony" Tess respectfully continued, "accountants tell you what is
going on in your business"

"We are an Instrumentality!" Tony declared.

"Nevertheless" Tess persisted "you need management accounts"

"What the ?.." Tony restrained himself. "Er, how could that
help?"

"Well, you're not covering all the exits, you are open to competitive
attack, your ruling echelons need information to help in their decision
making!"

Tony blinked "Thanks, Em" he forgot his manners as he gulped at the
cloudy yellow liquid. "Gods, that's better!"

"What's been said?" Emily enquired innocently, thinking 'I'll get this
bitch'

"Oh, you wouldn't understand!" Tony said, between mouthfuls, little
knowing the hurt he was causing, and the potential trouble he was
storing up (Men! When will they ever learn?)

The Lady Emily assumed 'haughty stare No 1'

Sensing trouble, Tony changed tack.

"Well, apparently, we need accountants, that is according to
Tess!"

"Excellent, I agree!" Lady Emily knew when to push.

Tony looked at the Lady Emily in surprise. This girl still had the
capacity to amaze.

"So" Tony hesitated "do you think you could take this on board and come
up with an urgent recommendation to fend of this attack"

"Ulp!" Emily hesitated. 'Hang on' she thought, 'this means I get to
sort this clever bitch out'

"Consider it done, Tony!" The Lady Emily smiled.

"That's my girl!" he forgot himself again, and Lady Tess ritually
ignored the remark with the appropriate gesture.

"Shoot!" the Lady Emily thought, only seven days to save the
Imperium!

*******************

(to be????..)