10 Signs

The first sign is when she takes her mobile to bed with her
The second is when she denies that she does
The third sign is when you find her pubes in the plug hole
When she knows you prefer her natural
The fourth sign is a lingerie label in the bathroom bin
The fifth sign is when there is no sign of the lingerie
The sixth sign is a receipt for petrol from Derby
When she told you she was in Stoke
The seventh sign is your tears
The eighth the stomach pains
The ninth the child who spends her life
Looking for ten signs.