If Only

I hug my pillow,
and imagine it is you.
But somehow
the pillow is not warm enough
the pillow is not talking or breathing
it does not smell like you
it doesn't hug me or kiss me back
the way I want you to
there is no heart beating in it
it is just a sewn fabric filled with cotton
In those cold and lonely nights
when I want to hold you badly
I cuddle my pillow real tight
and i shut my eyes to dream of you
so there I was..
hugging my pillow while dreaming
the pillow knows how tight I can hug
the pillow can count how many times
I have called your name each night..
The pillow knows how warm I can be
by just imagining you with me
The pillow feels my heart beat every night
it knows how fast my heart can beat while dreaming of you
It knows how often I lay awake while thinking of you..
If only the pillow could talk
It would talk to you
and it would tell you how much you mean to me..
If only.