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My stories have been read times317 of my 3,296 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 322 votes
317 of my comments have received 322 Great Feedback votes
It's a very well realised story with very sharp observations which contribute significantly to the tension. It was reassuring at the close - a satisfactory ending that gives your reader something to take away in a restorative fuzzy way.
Agreed, Tina. Barbaric. Numbering the badger has a powerful reverse psychology here. Second person shift is unusual and destabilising - it works really well to distance yourself from the emotion and place your reader central to it. Plus it has...
The repetition and rhyme in this love song makes something restorative of deep loss.It sounds soothing, it's very well composed, satisfying to hear aloud.
The key image of chick and the emotions of letting go with flight are so delicately spun together in a gorgeous snapshot. It's evocative, the rich scents and .the outdoors steep it in a specific time and place . I love this.
Hi cassie, it's nostalgic and very candid. A thoughtful response to the brief. I would consider taking 'meandering' out as bit cliched and 'had' on line 3 could go for smoother ride.
I think the narrative stream works as a child's distraction very well. I think you could take the double 'no no' 'yes yes' out and have singulars without it affecting structure. More natural. I'd be inclined to take more out - make your reader...
This was such fun!
Posted on Tue, 24 Nov 2015
This was such fun!
Read full commentPosted in A skeuomorphic diet for … (Poetry Monthly)
It's a very well realised
Posted on Wed, 25 Nov 2015
It's a very well realised story with very sharp observations which contribute significantly to the tension. It was reassuring at the close - a satisfactory ending that gives your reader something to take away in a restorative fuzzy way.
Read full commentPosted in The Station
Agreed, Tina. Barbaric.
Posted on Mon, 23 Nov 2015
Agreed, Tina. Barbaric. Numbering the badger has a powerful reverse psychology here. Second person shift is unusual and destabilising - it works really well to distance yourself from the emotion and place your reader central to it. Plus it has...
Read full commentPosted in Through the Grass, Darkly...
The repetition and rhyme in
Posted on Thu, 19 Nov 2015
The repetition and rhyme in this love song makes something restorative of deep loss.It sounds soothing, it's very well composed, satisfying to hear aloud.
Read full commentPosted in Rupture (Poetry Monthly)
The key image of chick and
Posted on Wed, 18 Nov 2015
The key image of chick and the emotions of letting go with flight are so delicately spun together in a gorgeous snapshot. It's evocative, the rich scents and .the outdoors steep it in a specific time and place . I love this.
Read full commentPosted in Supplication
I liked the pulls and drags
Posted on Fri, 13 Nov 2015
I liked the pulls and drags of this, how the setting soothes.
Read full commentPosted in Home
Wonderful use of a very
Posted on Fri, 13 Nov 2015
Wonderful use of a very fitting analogy. I hope all's well in your silvery world.
Read full commentPosted in Joyride
Hi cassis, it's nostalgic and
Posted on Sun, 18 Oct 2015
Hi cassie, it's nostalgic and very candid. A thoughtful response to the brief. I would consider taking 'meandering' out as bit cliched and 'had' on line 3 could go for smoother ride.
Read full commentPosted in End of the road (Poetry Monthly)
I think the narrative stream
Posted on Fri, 16 Oct 2015
I think the narrative stream works as a child's distraction very well. I think you could take the double 'no no' 'yes yes' out and have singulars without it affecting structure. More natural. I'd be inclined to take more out - make your reader...
Read full commentPosted in In ver ness (Poetry Monthly)
What a super piece. Dark and
Posted on Tue, 27 Oct 2015
What a super piece. Dark and light.
Read full commentPosted in Some days begin with a swim
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