Julie's Giro

Neat writing. Sad, though – if you use 'friends', you don't really trust them, or appreciate, I guess, and feel patronised, but whose failing is it? Rhiannon

The repetition works so well here, jolono. An effective poem that hammers its point home more than effectively.

Thanks for the read Rhiannonw.

Thanks Rigel, no idea where it came from!

I love this! So wish I could write poetry.

Thanks Alibob, thats the great thing about this site, you can just experiment, I'm new to it as well!

Jolono,

This is a great poem. You say so much with so few words. Loved it!

Moya

Heh, thanks Moya, still learning!

Loved this, jolono. Made me want to both laugh and cry at the same time. I think if you left the exclamation mark off the end though it would have a much greater impact. Just a thought :)

Thanks RP, funny you should mention that, it took me a good five minutes to decide whether to put it there or not, five minutes over a bloody exclamation mark! Many thanks.

Made a helluva lot more sense once I Googled "Giro" lol. Wonderful and fun to read, Jolono. The pacing is great.

Rich

Cheers Hudson, not even sure if they do them anymore! But a "Giro" was your benefit cheque that came once a week, I know I used to cash them!

I think "Julie's Giro" would bring the house down at a live reading! Enjoyed!

Thanks Kilb, I'll take it to the next one!

So simple and so good.

Wow thanks seashore, glad you liked it!

You are a dab hand at this poetry lark, jolono. Great stuff;-)

Tina

Thank you Tina, this site has helped enormously with my writing. Reading other peoples poetry, of all kinds, is an inspiration. A big thank you to all the really good poets on here, of which you most certainly are one!

Marvellous social commentary on what so many people are forced to go through in these difficult times, jolono, conveyed with excellent dark humour, especially towards the end. Let's hope Julie's next Giro isn't too long in coming!

Thanks Bryan, glad you liked it.

Basic pure clean and tidy poem which contrasts starkly to the messy hand to mouth, mouth to goodness knows what, type of life julie is leading. Both the poem and Julie's life seem really functional and driven. It really does end with a climax, which I love. Good work bud.

Basic pure clean and tidy poem which contrasts starkly to the messy hand to mouth, mouth to goodness knows what, type of life julie is leading. Both the poem and Julie's life seem really functional and driven. It really does end with a climax, which I love. Good work bud.

Oh, the live reading would work very well. I don't know any Julies apart from my dad's neighbour, but yes I do love the choice of the name Julie.

Thanks MD,the name Julie was for no other reason that it just seemed to work.

You kid yourself Jolono, you can write poetry, and very good poetry it is. This is what some would call "Street Poetry", which I really enjoy, just not very good at it myself, but this is very good indeed!

Thanks EF.Glad you enjoyed it mate.

Yeah, I really like it mate, it's simple and hypnotic and does the job.

The only thing I would question is the reference to Noel Edmonds. In a few years' time (hopefully) his shit game show will be forgotten and no-one will understand the reference. That's the problem with writing about contemporary culture. Noel Edmonds and his crap game show are forgettable and irrelevant.

Also, I'm not sure I understand about the "filthy walls". Surely Julie still has to carry on staring at them, unless she moves out?...

Cheers Archie, appreciate it, good points. I think i'll change the Edmonds bit, the bit about the filthy walls was a way of saying she doesn't have to stay indoors now staring at the walls cos she's now got money to go out with.

Thanks mate.

ah, the old Giro. Happy memories. Great stuff.