Dilemma

I think you should make her aware of others’ comments saying how it is a scam, and that ‘everybody’ is apparently told how great their poetry is by poetry.com. If we all got letters saying how ‘special’ we were from the same person, that person’s words would surely become of less value to us – hopefully, we would realise it meant nothing. I don’t think you should bin the letter (keep it somewhere safe as evidence, for future reference), as after all, it is really aimed at your daughter and she might not like the fact that you got rid of it (if she found out about the letter in the future), without you letting her even see it. How about if you print off information which says about poetry.com being a scam (I’m assuming she didn’t tell you she was entering the ‘contest’?), and leave it somewhere so that she can see for herself it isn’t to be taken seriously? Let her see the letter if it seems right, AFTER she comes to terms with the fact that poetry.com isn’t all it may seem to some.

Bin it. There's nothing mean about protecting your children from scammery. It's your job. After the Father Christmas phase, of course.

To lie to or deceive your child in any way would be wrong. She entered the contest. Give her the letter, explain it to her and let her deal with the outcome. She'll deal with the truth of it being a scam better than dealing with a parent interfering with her life by holding her things from her "for her own good". If she asks you for money to buy the book, refuse it on the basis that it is a scam. She should be free to spend her own money on the book if she so desires. It's better to have her disappointed with the scam than her father. Visit me http://www.radiodenver.org/

bin it...so long as they don't send a follow up saying 'you haven't responded yet blah blah' and she gets to it before you and finds out...I don't know if they do jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

My vote goes with Buk and Jude. Forgetting the whole parent/guardian role for a moment, I routinely bin junkmail addressed to my flatmates, and they do the same for me. I don't think suffering the scammery themselves is something the intended recipient should have to go through. Moving *back* to parent/guardian territory, surely she'd be just as upset at the idea that you screen her letters, and only surrender them to her with accompanying guidelines, as she would by the idea that you bin them?

By the way, I had to break the news about this scam to my cousin after she'd sent an email to all her friends telling them about her "success". Despite me trying to soften the blow and talk about genuine opportunities for her writing, it wasn't something I enjoyed having to do. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

I see your point Denver & usually would agree but these tossers are so evil they demand an exception to the rule! And like Jack, most adults are happy to bin fairly innocous (sp?) junk mail for each other, so surely there is even more need with something that can be so damaging to a child. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

I'm with RD. Tell your kid the truth. She's 11, she'll deal with it, probably better than you think...kids need to learn how to think critically about the media and what is offered to them; the only way she'll learn is if you guide her. I'd still refuse to purchase anything, however...

Bin it, definitely. Telling her it is a scam etc will just puncture any ambition. As Bukharin says, there is nothing wrong with protecting your kids. You can tell her later on if you like, in a few years.

mmm...maybe but my cousin was knocked by it at the age of 28! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Personally, I put my childs trust in me above all other considerations. I'd like to have her come to me for advice later on when it is something important, than to think that I might disagree and go behinid my back. Just me...Good luck. Visit me http://www.radiodenver.org/

So what's this about Father Christmas????

i know it might be a bit hard putting her right on this.these vanity publishers rely on parents like you to buy these books.at the end of the day, kids are more resilient than you think.just put it tactfully, her writing is great etc but these people arent the best people to get involved with.tell her to keep writing, but explain that its a lot of hard work and maybe when shes older she can contact real publishers.good luck.

You have to show it to her - but maybe in a couple of days after lambasting poetry.com to the old man when she's in the room. Try to be subtle. It won't be easy - they can smell a 'parent scam' a mile off .

I've changed my mind on this. If you've told her already about scams, then you aren't taking anything away from her by telling her poetry.com are one of them. It's not like she got the mail, got all excited, and *then* you stepped in.