The best 15 minutes of my Easter holiday

A train
And on that train
Me
And three old dears
Women who’ve been on this earth for years and years
And it’s lovely
Because the train carriage may smell
And we don’t know each other very well
But outside our window
it is sunny and green
And we happily share what our eyes have seen
And the ladies smiles are ready to burst
as we approach Maidenhead station

A billboard
And on that billboard
A chicken
Rolled on its back, glaring straight ahead
Advertising some call centre that’ll get you out of the red
And it’s not lovely
Because some bitter frustrated teen
Has decided to vent his spleen
By spraying in neon a huge pink monstrous cock
That rockets from the chickens legs like a tower block
And this grotesque member looks fit to burst
As it soars across the billboard at maidenhead station

A delay
And during that delay
We have to wait
At maidenhead station
As the train slows down the billboard comes into
sight
You need sunglasses that dick is shining so bright
And it is just hilarious
For the train…slows…and stops…
So that the window is full
Of chicken meat
A giant avian schlong
Perfectly framed
And the carriage suddenly runs out of air
The women are all trying to act as though the window was never there
There’s a blue rinse panic, fingers race
Glances towards the door
You’d have thought at their age they’d have seen one of these before
But not like this…
So lurid and menacing, inches from their faces
On the platform of Maidenhead station

15 minutes
And in that fifteen minutes
A silent war is declared
At maidenhead station
The grannies launch into a range of feverish activities
Completing crosswords, knitting or sewing buttons onto sleeves
AND IT IS AWESOME
As none will acknowledge this graffiti so unsightly
One just stares with her arms crossed so tightly
As if she’s wringing herself dry of all awareness of cock
Or starting a fire with her twitching eyebrows that
Would burn these sinful shapes from the world for good
At which point I become uncomfortable in my pants
And the monstrosity just leers, chuckling, demanding
a split second glance
One woman resorts to digging out a mobile phone
That looks ancient enough it could have been made out of stone
& she inspects it, probes and jabs it
As if it has the power to repel
The huge chicken torpedo that has them trapped within this hell.

And for 15 minutes
They writhe and suffer in silence, never looking
At this invader of windows
This imprisoner of women
This epic force that they can never acknowledge
This huge
throbbing
chicken cock
Check it out at Maidenhead station!