Epitaph

I’ve spared you the cod’s wallop
of faux-valley voice and ‘here lies Taff’:
the epitome of what you’d expect of me:
a joke about a serious matter,
a tortuous trope, or slack simile
and puns that land with a nervous clatter.
Rather as you’re reading this,
think of your unending bliss
that under this stone my pen is still
and you, happy reader, nevermore will
read stuff that rhymes 'get worse' with 'nurse'.
I’ll never write another verse.