Uncivilised

By jennifer

Fri, 06 Jun 2008
  • 2569 reads
6 comments
 

Uncivilised (6th June 2008, 9.53am)

I stare out across the vast wasteland,
boundaries beyond the realms of consciousness,
acres of whiteness and intolerance;
am I brave enough to venture an expedition,
arm myself with weapons and provisions,
wear protective clothing, shield my vision
and seek my way through ruins and nothingness?

The territory was conquered years ago,
the roads were built, civilisations here grown
out of hand, occupation of such fertile land
was fast and frantic, resources were expended,
cities fell into ruin, communications ended
between nations, and where there once stood
endless architectural triumphs, I would
be surprised to find a trace of rubble now.

I gather my strength and prepare myself
for a long, fraught journey across the desertedness;
endless miles of emptiness and solitude;
am I brave enough to undertake a journey
which might take years to complete? I seek
a destination I might never find in a lifetime,
and when I reach it, am unsure of my welcome.

The territory lies, bleached and hostile;
the roads are hardly visible as I tread slow
as a snake, sliding closer to my prey,
patient and prepared. To turn back at any moment
is a possibility I cannot contemplate at all;
I have left this mission to the nth day and now
the time has come to succeed or fail. My love,
this is my last chance to make contact with you.

Certificate U
Poem
Something for the Weekend (May 2008)
Love

Comments

Submitted by Caldwell on
Have you read The Road buy Cormac McCarthy? Yours has more hope but it's the same bleak landscape.

 

Submitted by jennifer on
It's a metaphor. Can you work it out?

 

Submitted by Dynamaso on
There is something about this, something almost uplifting but I can't quite put my finger on it. Optimistic resolve, perhaps?

 

Submitted by Caldwell on
After a once wonderful and deep relationship, which destroyed itself through it's own intensity, the writer is building up resolve to overcome all this and find love again, perhaps with the original lover, which is suggested by addressing "My love" in the 2nd to last line as a love already known. Or is this a future love not yet met, which would make for a much more positive, optimistic reading?

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Yes, Caldwell, it's about trying to rebuild a relationship with regards both communication and sex which was once passionate and built up to be a magnificent thing, but has now broken down into nothingness. All the scenery, first introduced as: 'the vast wasteland, boundaries beyond the realms of consciousness, acres of whiteness and intolerance' is both a metaphor for the literal bed of the lovers and also an allusion to the relationship itself. The poem started out as being much more explicit but evolved into a complete metaphor as it shaped itself! Well done, you have penetrated my obscurity.

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Thank you, Dy, it's about that enduring optimism one has when you know that all is lost but you try one last shot at it anyway, when you really should stop living in denial and let go!