Romance is Homophonic

Romance is Homophonic (12th June 2008, 10.28am)

Let’s holiday in Wales, not whales like Jonah;
I’m not sure whether I confuse you but the weather
forecast looks good for the weekend. Two days in a daze;
I don’t want to stay in tents, they make me tense;
we’ll stay in a hostel, hopefully without getting hostile
and I might drink some wine, while you just whine
and sit there across the card table with your deuce, drinking juice.
I do not accept that I love you except for your bad habits;
they affect me too much and have too much effect.
Are you confused yet? Look out the window at the ewes;
are you afraid you might be used by my youth?
If you’re lucky, I might take off all my clothes and close the door;
I think you’ve already been told, rather than tolled
not to loch the door, lock the door to keep me in;
your presence comforts me, as do your presents;
I’ll say please; a lady never pleads; I’m not begging for you to begin.
We spend a whole day out, not a hole day out, on the moors;
after all that walking in the rain, I want to rein you back from walking
more because my feet are sore. We stand and watch a buzzard soar
and I think how romantic we can be; can you see the bee
on the heather seeking nectar? You hold out a carrot in the form
of a big single carat and ask me if I’ll depend on you.
Do I jump in the deep end and trust you when you’re not trussed up?
Will you have as much patience with me as with your patients?
Will I still make the grade when I am greyed? One I’ve weighed up
all the evidence, I take a deep breath and in I wade;
‘I can be your heroine, but not your heroin’, I say,
‘and you can be my prince, but not my prints, because
although I’d like a picture of you, I think I’d rather have a pitcher
of that cocktail you bought to drink while you get bored with beer.’
And with my acceptance phrase, your equilibrium frays;
you raise me up into the newly breaking rays and
spin me round in golden sun; one day we might have a son
and he will hear the story written here, by me, the one you’ve won.