THE PIE SHOP. Chapter Four. Ollie's story.

"Ollie's Mum came to see me today!" This news, given by my mother as she served our evening meal, was received by my family in silence. My youngest brother and my sister were both too young to understand the import of the statement; my father after the minutest pause concluded that he need not concern himself with the matter since there was no way whatever the problem (There had to be a problem) could involve him. My younger brother and I, after a swift search of our memories, could think of no reason to be concerned either. But…we were. We exchanged quizzical glances but remained silent. We had noted the "Came to see me " bit. She hadn't met Ollie's Mum in the street, or in the market, or anywhere else that mums meet. Oh no! Ollie's Mum had come to see her! Now, those of you who know the East End of London should explain to those who do not, that a 'visit' to your mum from someone else's mum was rather like heaving a brick into a pond….the ripples just keep on spreading! It usually ends up as bad news for someone. We had all learned this truth at a very early age and tried hard to avoid any actions that might end up with mums 'visiting' each other.

It wasn't so bad if dads were involved. They, usually, very swiftly solved any problems caused by their sons over a pint in the Brunswick Arms or the Lord Palmerston. A degree of punishment would be mutually decided upon and that was that. Problem Solved! If we had disagreements with our friends we discussed them on Saturday night in the Pie Shop. There, no one would lose their temper or start a fight….in there it simply didn't happen. So, again problem solved! But when Mums visited one another…well that could result in heavy-duty grief for a whole load of people.

You see, it was what followed the 'visit' that would cause the ripples to start their interference in a number of lives. A serious breach of a son's behaviour could result in an exchange between mums and dads. His shortcomings as a father would be listed, his lack of foresight in not seeing the problem coming would be commented upon, and of course the he way he should now handle the matter in hand would be described. The father's desire for a quiet life now out of his reach for the time being, and his resentment heightened by his wife's comments, retribution on the offender followed with increased intensity, because, in addition to the complaint discussed between the mums, he now had the prospect of a disgruntled wife to deal with. That resentment could last a long time after the original sin was forgotten.

Sometimes neighbours somehow became involved, hadn't they always forecast that he would be a troublesome child? What had he done this time? He's certain to come to sticky end! This obliged the mother to adopt a defensive attitude and arguments could and often did develop that had little or nothing to do with the original altercation. Again this inevitably had a further deleterious effect on the peace of mind of the father. Mostly though, the actual punishment was dealt out by the mother…at least that's how it was in my family and those of my friends too if their reports were anything to go by. So we waited with bated breath to hear why Mrs Caldwell, Ollie's Mum had "come to see her". My conscience was clear, so I wasn't too worried, more curious I suppose.

Despite some swift mind cudgelling I couldn't think why Ollie's mum would need to come to visit my mother. He was after all the same age as me, coming up to eighteen and due to enter National Service soon. He was an only child, the apple of her eye and up to now, according to her, was perfect in every way. I'd known him all my life and in view of his total lack of a sense of humour and somewhat short fused temper, I took a slightly different view.

Our backgrounds were very different. He lived with his parents in their own house facing the park and his family were not short of money. We lived in an old Victorian house that had been knocked about during the war, still needed some repairs the landlords seemed reluctant to carry out, and my parents were always short of money. He was always well turned out and looked as though he had just had a wash and brush up whenever you met him. We were rather less fastidious. He and I went to the same schools and even though he moved into a higher academic class than me we still saw each other every day and at weekends played for the same football team, The Casuals. We usually played for the second team of which his father, a sergeant in the local police station, was the manager and trainer. He played at right half and was one of those reliable players that put in a good performance every time he turned out.

I'd seen Ollie at the Town Hall dance the previous Saturday evening, just four days ago, and he had come to the Pie Shop afterwards. Though he hadn't enjoyed the evening and seemed a bit morose and quiet, he'd said nothing and given no indication that anything was amiss that might have prompted this 'visit' to my mother. By now my brother had adopted his well known "It wasn't me" look of supreme innocence and my father had visibly relaxed having privately reached the conclusion that there was no way this could develop into being his problem, but still his nerve broke first. "What did she want?" he asked. She ignored the question and put one of her own, turning to me she said. "Has Ollie got a girl friend?"

What a question! If I said "yes", there's no telling what could follow, if I said "no", well he should have! I opted for the middle course, in short, I bottled it! "No one special," I told her. She wasn't satisfied with that. "Who was he with last Saturday?" she demanded. My father looked up from his plate, still confident this was none of his business. "Do we really have to discuss Ollie's girl friends at the table?" he asked in a bored voice as if it were an improper subject. My mother wasn't to be deflected from her course so easily. "Yes!" she said firmly. "It's the only time I see you all together and that's what Ollie's mother came to see me about." I sat bolt upright and Billy, my brother, smirked. "He was dancing with a load of girls last Saturday," he volunteered. "What's he done then, why is his mum so concerned? Has he got someone into trouble?" He asked the last question with a broad grin on his face. She rounded on him and snapped. "Watch your tongue! I'll have none of that talk in my house! And mind your own business, I'm talking to your brother," and her gaze returned to me. I had the uncomfortable feeling that the problem, whatever it was, was heading firmly in my direction and rather too quickly.

She continued like a ship under full sail. "Well? He's your friend, has been since you both started school together. You must know if he has a girl friend," she said. I shrugged my shoulders. "Like I said, no one special as far as I know." She clearly didn't believe me…or did she? It was unlike her to take such an interest in these matters. This was the early fifties and girls was a taboo subject, never to be discussed with our parents.

The 'visit' from Ollie's mum had now assumed a major importance as far as I was concerned. What could they have talked about? If my mother wanted to know if Ollie had a girl friend something was very definitely up. I couldn't think what it could be though. Ollie was a nice bloke, reasonably attractive, medium height, well built, with wavy dark brown hair, hazel eyes and a skin that always looked as though he'd been in the sun for while. He wasn't one that had loads of girlfriends though, on Saturday nights at the Town Hall he found it difficult to even ask a girl he didn't know to dance with him, and when one did agree, he hardly said a word to her from the start of the dance to the finish. If a girl refused his invitation to dance, and since he was a poor dancer they usually did if they'd danced with him before, he would go bright red in the face and head for the bar immediately, staying there for most of the evening. He didn't seem to able to grasp the basics of dancing and definitely wasn't a ladies' man. Why should his mum and mine be so interested in his love life? I was soon to find out.

"Mrs Caldwell," my mother said. "Came to see me because she's worried about Ollie. He'll get his call-up papers for National Service soon and that means he could end up being sent to Malaya or Africa or somewhere just as foreign. She's very worried that he might meet up with a girl over there and…well you can imagine the rest. Look at Georgie Pope, he came home from Germany with a Austrian wife. Caused all sorts of problems in that family that did. She feels that if he had a proper girl friend locally he would concentrate his mind on her instead." I tried not to laugh…Billy didn't and burst into a horrible cackle, my father seemed to get a piece of meat stuck in his throat and sounded as though he was choking. I drew a deep breath and said as calmly as I could. "I see, so what does Mrs. Caldwell expect you to do about that?" I was aware of the close attention that my father and brother were now giving this conversation. I confess I couldn't wait to hear what my mother was expected to do about Ollie's love life. I didn't have long to wait. "I told her that you and Billy would help him find a girlfriend before he went into the army," she said with a look on her face that made it clear that any refusal on our part to co-operate in the exercise would be taken very personally. To my complete amazement Billy jumped in first. "That's no problem," he assured her, "leave it to us we'll fix him up alright." She smiled at him and put another spoonful of sugar into his freshly poured tea. Her dismissive glance in my direction made it clear she had expected a more positive reaction from me and my batting average had suffered a serious blow. In an effort to recover some of my fading seniority in the family I picked up my now cold cup of tea and drank it down in one go and left the table without further comment.

Later that evening in the saloon bar of the Brunswick Arms I questioned Billy about our plans to find Ollie a girlfriend. "What possessed you to volunteer like that?" I asked him. He grinned that 'what a clever boy am I' grin that irritates me so much. "Well, I could see you weren't going to and you know what she's like when she's got a bee in her bonnet, if I hadn't piped up she would made a real case out of this and none of us would have got any peace for months." He was right of course. "Well how are we going to handle this then?" I asked him, He had far more girlfriends than me…I never could understand that but still….I should have known better. "You'll have to have a word with Tommy Molton," he said. "He's had more girlfriends that anyone else I know. But you'll have to do it, he still looks on me as being too young to bother with." My heart sank. "Tommy was the centre forward of The Casuals first team. Six feet tall, heavily built, flaming red hair, green eyes and a temper that matched his hair, he was the perfect illustration of what a centre forward of the time should be. Think of Allan Shearrer with red hair…see what I mean?" He was someone to approach on any subject with great care. How I was to enlist his help on this project I couldn't think. Billy had the solution, of course. "You'll have to catch him in the Pie Shop on Saturday night," he said. If he's had a good night he'll reckon it's a great laugh and if anyone can find Ollie a bird he can!" It was true Tommy's success with the girls was legendary. He was rarely seen with the same one twice. I nodded with an obvious lack of enthusiasm and told him I'd see what I could do.

Fortune favours the brave….it's true it does! That Saturday Tommy scored two goals in a six nil win and turned up at the King's Hall that evening in a really good mood. It was tempered slightly by the fact that his current girlfriend was ill and couldn't be with him but that didn't seem to worry him too much. He danced with a number of girls, who seemed to queue up for his attention, then had few drinks, he was never short of money, and after 'taking home' the girl he had danced with most during the evening he duly arrived at The Pie Shop about half-past-twelve.

He came over to our table, put his pie and mash next to mine and sat down. "Have a good evening?" he asked. "Yeah! Very!" I replied. "Great game this afternoon, well done with those two great goals." He nodded his thanks and we both set about eating our food. He was clearly still in a very good humour so after a decent wait I grabbed my chance and explained the problem. "Does Ollie know about this?" He asked. I assured him he didn't and stressed that he mustn't find out. Tommy obviously thought the situation as hilarious as we did and after a minute's thought said. "Yeah! I know just the girl. She'll be just his cup-of-tea. Janice Teale, you know her don't you?" I did. We all did, and he was right, if anyone could liven up our Ollie it was certainly her! He, Tommy knew her best of all and would arrange for her to be at the King's Hall dance next Saturday. He guaranteed that Ollie would fall under her spell in no time at all.

He did! And to a degree we all found rather embarrassing. From the very second she looked up at him as they danced that first dance he was entranced. She smiled at him, danced very close to him, put her hand on the nape of his neck, whispered into his ear during the slow dances, pulled every female trick in the book that could be pulled in public. Ollie danced with her all evening and scowled at anyone else who sought to do so. They went for a drink in the bar…together, left the dance early…together. I was astonished at the speed with which Ollie had fallen for her and said so to Tommy. He wasn't the least bit surprised. "Very attractive girl our Janice," he said. I nodded. "I agree, but even so It all happened a bit quick don't you think?"
"No, not really. She just happened to overhear me telling your brother that his father had won a lot of money on the football pools, that Ollie had never had a girlfriend and that we all doubted he ever would. In fact we were beginning to think that he just didn't like girls at all. So she's on a mission to save him from himself I think."

It was clear that as far as Tommy was concerned the exercise was completed. Then he added "By the way, that brother of yours; he's pretty sharp you know. I think Maurice would like to meet him." Maurice was the local bookie and a very shady character. "I don't think that's a good idea Tom. Thanks all the same." I replied. The thought of having to explain Billy's involvement with Maurice to my parents was not something I cared to contemplate. They always assumed I was 'looking after' him. If only they knew!

Things moved pretty quickly after that. The Mums felt they had accomplished their mission. Ollie was head-over heels in love and Janice, even though by now she knew that Ollie's dad hadn't won the pools, was either a brilliant actress or she had fallen for Ollie! What Mrs Caldwell thought of Janice isn't known. They were a directly contrasting pair. The older woman quiet, tall, straight back, soberly dressed in muted colours, neatly styled though prematurely grey hair, clear blue eyes and a soft west-country accent. Janice with the bubbly personality was the very opposite. She was of medium height, very slim build going in and out in all the right places, long blonde (natural) hair that blew all over the place in the wind, her clothes always in bright colours, and an East End accent you could cut with a knife. But their common interest, Ollie, seemed to hold them together.

You may think that such an idyllic situation couldn't last…and you'd be right. It didn't! It ended as spectacularly as it started. An unguarded remark by Ollie upset Janice big time, we don't know what it was and it doesn't really matter now. In an effort to recover the situation he sent her a huge bunch of flowers, which she refused to accept, saying that it would start her hay fever off again! Not to be discouraged he managed to persuade her to go to the cinema with him the next evening, a Friday. Again trying to make amends he waited until the lights were turned down and quietly handed her a large box of chocolates, Terry's All Gold so it's reported. Janice wasn't to be mollified so easily and handed back the open box saying irritably."You know I'm slimming, I can't possibly eat them!"

What happened next has been confirmed by at least half a dozen witnesses. Ollie stood up and shouted. "Right! Sod You then! Don't eat the bloody things, See if I care." And with that he threw the box of chocolates high into the air. They were seated in the three-and-sixpenny seats in the front row of the circle so those below in the one-and-threepenny seats were suddenly showered with a mixture of chocolates and the packaging they came in. For a few moments pandemonium reigned as people moved rapidly to avoid the deluge, all thoughts of the 'Big Film' forgotten. Terry's All Gold are very nice chocolates but not when they suddenly appear out of thin air and begin bouncing off your head and shoulders. By the time order was restored Ollie was long gone, leaving Janice to explain what had happened to an irate cinema manager. That was the end of the romance, even when they met at dances later on they never spoke.

Ollie duly went into the army, did go to Malaya and came back a changed man. He had never been what you would call the life and soul of the party but now he was positively a wet blanket. We half expected another visit from his mother! But soon after returning to his old job in the local government offices, he somehow found a girlfriend and within six months they were married. That didn't last either! Two years after the wedding they had the marriage annulled….Yes! That's what I said, annulled. The grounds were "Non-Consummation of the Marriage". It seems that Ollie was not just an awful dancer. I bet they still talk about him in the Pie Shop on Saturday nights.