Shades of Blue

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Sun, 15 Nov 2009
  • 5415 reads
22 comments
 

I christened him ‘Blue’, the man
with the Tesco carrier-bags,
who occupied the same park-bench,
day on day, who’d always nod
when I’d smile, ‘Hello’. Jacket –
miles too big, anchored at the waist
with a length of string, as autumn
turned to winter, turned to spring.

Woollen gloves with fingers
too long for him, flicked busily,
as he whittled scraps of wood.
Got to wondering what he made –
head down; only glancing up
to shake a fist at the pigeons
when they ‘rained’ on him
amidst the starry, maple shade.

On holiday in Bognor,
thoughts of him seduce me.
There I was – one wife, three kids
and a dog in a caravan...yet
when next I passed his way,
he’d moved on – no forwarding
address. Just a bench, freshly
painted a deeper shade of blue;
on the grass, a peg – handcrafted;
straight and true.

Certificate U
Poem
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Talecatching

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thank you so much for reading. Glad you enjoyed;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Lady-Bathsheba on
You have a really rather good turn of phase Liked it lot :)

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
And so do you, Lady-Bathsheba...and I thank you. Pleased you liked it:-) Tina

 

Submitted by shatterboxx on
Really interesting - lots of good images here, some great rhymes too. I got a bit tripped up by a few parts: to a smiled, ‘Hello’ - You can't smile a greeting, it's speech. I get what you mean, but it made me stumble a bit. – fingers far too long, - Not sure what this means. I'm guessing his hands looked strange in some way? Fingers longer than they should be? At the moment, all I can think is 'Too long for what?' Also, I'm wondering about your protagonist. What kind of a person are they? Why is he/she thinking about this homeless(?) guy while on holiday? Enjoyed this.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
To answer your very valid questions. I smile 'hello' many times, but I take your point. 'Woollen gloves - fingers far too long' is referring to the fingers of the glove. But I agree, it isn't clear so have edited that line. Thanks for pointing it out;-) As for the ending, maybe you have missed the point. The narrator feels trapped 'There was I three kids, one wife and a dog in a caravan' and envies the freedom, as he sees it of the gentleman on the bench. Hope I have answered your questions, and I thank you so much for reading and for the interest you took in it. Tina.

 

Submitted by Firebird on
Very enjoyable poem. Thanks :)

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Firebird - thank you. For reading and for letting me know you enjoyed;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Beeme on
I really enjoyed this, very beautiful and touching. I love the colours and the whole poem is perfectly put together x

k.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
My thanks to you, dear Beeme. Glad the colours etc. came alive for you. I just closed my eyes and imagined someone I used to be acquainted with a long while ago now. Tina x

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Silver-spun-sand well done very good like lines verse; No forwarding address. Just a bench freshly painted and a deeper shade of blue On the grass, a peg handcrafted, straight and true.Like beggar mits, daughter wanted some.You can have pictures on Tesco's bags Monet' Just got my Big Issue the gale awful. sounds like a homeless man did he make pegs.Homeless have lot's of hidden talents Iv'e seen. poor you 3 kids a dog and a caravan.I thought I coped too well we had no m till baby 15 months and damp on the walls.That's life.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
As you say, Julie...that's life. But I guess, there's always someone else worse off than ourselves, so we all should count our blessings. By the way, you quoted my favourite lines. Great minds, eh? Tina ;-)x

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Silver-spun-sand Really wow. experience seen some sitting on pavement eating piece cheese, chat don't always make sense of the subject.Moon or what or world.Bognor aye? getting warm!! well happier with less always away Leopard never changes his spots say "Have you seen the olde man on the streets of London" song I want go out Xmas day dinner day centres what ever. love julie xx

Submitted by chelseyflood on
Nice work, I like the images and, especially, the rhythm of this bit: "...anchored at the waist with a length of string, as autumn turned to winter, turned to spring."

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Well thank you, chelsey. I take it as a great compliment;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Silver-spun-sand Million congratulations on this cherry!well deserved stanzas, imageries story.yep! once got statue like this grey beard sitting on bench gave away.didn't like. julie x cavalcader (:-

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thank you, Julie. You sound almost as pleased as me. Seriously though, I appreciate your words and I think I had a statue like that...once. Tina x

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Well done on reaching 100 cherries Tina!!! I agree with Nathan, it is a wonderful achievement! You are a very valued member of ABC Tina and I hope you're still here writing for your two hundreth cherry ;) Loved this poem too - the subtle rhyming is brilliant! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thought you might appreciate those little internal rhymes;-) Many thanks too, Magic for your words. They mean much. Tina xxx

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Silver-spun-sand*** Million Congratulations 100th Cherry! Million thanks all your great help!and your 100th Cherry! "It's not what you have it's the way that you? do it" song but you are great **Inspiration Abctales on here, plus way your beautiful comments to all.How you Interact. with us all new older ones,marvellous. Your personality Shines*** through.It was only 2nd hand figure cheapy bit like my pop some ways, whe he mended boy's shoes I absolutely agree with Nathan and all No1 if I can't get how to do thing stumped my Poodle.to furry.and Topsy doll knit''forgotten how put together.Like now I'm trying one through your great inspiration and your poem's no one to ask give me a Title out 3.Iv'e done or how scribbles done put it in correct sense.I think you and I mind me saying so think a bit alike, were you **Spinning=Silver-Spun-Web?like "Spider" (:- yesterday,20th someone put on here lucky pen! writing so I put out the blue! of lucky photo! Priest +and once betting shop closed?fin: now, and once casino machine!naughty me. you are very welcome here! too very much one day whenever.Are you going Univ: Iv'e still got? something for you I put by for you.You as a Writer helped me so much pause, and think! I look at your work and comments.and Nathan says visit whenever.x Me tO. Have good week-end I too new someone in Forces I was only 19 friend's 6 -7 years anything went wrong at home. always welcomed when on leave home never meant to be. But seemed connect more dance hall pictures, once stay over cousin's years, d last year.Couldn't go funeral no car. Her 2nd m. once best man and me bridesmaid.Her 1st m then going back.Hubby bought very expensive wreath not heard. Out the blue!Call same name come see us ow! ready amke a cuppa chat! no wonderful surpise though was a scarf, the tears! So lucky, gave most away. Life is very strange isn't it.But name followed even m neighbour's when moved twice, then that wedding dress up road.As you say count your blessings of course.Always a tale. I never thought of beauty only love silly me. Looks cloudy.Have a good day.What is the -:)is it sad.I told Luigi about new bed broke? No! He!He! broke kings size dble divans lock,wanted re-pair no I said brand new, we'd moved sub;sid; while when it came back castors 2 them stuffed with straw had go back that happened twice. Then co; went into liquidation plus sending note stating not paid not true. 2nd hand things lasted best. julie xx cavalcader (:- .

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thank you for your lovely words, Julie;-) You have made me blush. It is very cloudy here too, but I hope it doesn't rain, especially on you. Have a happy weekend, Julie Tina ;-)

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Silver-spun-sand wow! make you blush!well I just noticed have a good wee end!week-end sorry, altered it, no I mean't it all I remember days I blushed! awful more they said worse I was.Hah! Hah! and always so nieve.never got hang jokes. If you read The Brunswick festival Iv'e done your curl up laughing, all true.have good week end nite late.My JedEdward out X factor think doing film later any way,paper said was unfair make them sing knowing not good, such brilliant entertainment all and ages can interact with them. Now doll's of co; them made been given them like them, I think singing dancing movement all go together, don't you.They will be wanted every where bookings I know be great.TV went to-night weather missed Sue Boyle is it.spelt wrong what a voice.corrected.oh! some experienced blank TV screens. julie xx

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Silver-spun-sand the Old bed mattress caved in middle.he roughly 6st.I'm short not fat now,if rolled over shout couldn't move, whoops!But the new bed guy came out to mend it, not likely beautiful, new one double King size divans gorgeous, co;went liquidation, blow me castors stuffed, twice came castors. we had to move sub-side; for months then.Lovely sep;beds.now heaven! after another 3rd Rd.acc:he had, kick out ouch! or old bed mattress had it roll over, dip middle,I was completely crushed 15st I'm only short I shout move scary,he be sound asleep! so now hence sep; beds wonderful. I told Luigi as talking of beds, no more motorbikes thank goodness.very very rough here. julie xx cavalcader (;-