Final moments

By Beeme

Sun, 17 Jan 2010
  • 1810 reads
9 comments
 

I never heard, saw or thought of you-
or so I told myself. I turned crazy into
something I couldn't understand. I was
my own anagram searching for meanings
I wasn't sure even existed within my body.

I drank too much wine and watched
Casablanca on repeat until my eyes
only visioned black and white images.

I held conversations as if you were still
here with me. I complained when the little
girl showed me her budgie (because caged birds won't fly.)
The truth was that I couldn't stand to see how
happy they made her.

I whistled my favourite songs and drew words
on blurred air as you made a U-turn for the door.
I didn't plan on keeping your portrait in my eyes
but when it disappears I cry..

Certificate 12
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Beeme - another emotionally charged poem with powerful imagery. Just a minor point - you don't need the full-stop after 'crazy' or the the capital 'I' following it. I.e. 'I turned crazy into something I couldn't understand'. Especially liked the caged bird and the reference to Casablanca and the black and white images. Tina xx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou Tina I changed that line, thank you for letting me know. :-) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou Nathan glad you enjoyed :-) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by shoe on
all of the above, i like the last stanza especially, v.v.good,:~}

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Beautiful, brilliant, poem Beeme! I love this stanza: 'I drank too much wine and watched Casablanca on repeat until my eyes only visioned black and white images.' and in my opinion it is one of the best you've ever written ;) Also loved the anagram imagery! Well done on this one! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou very much Shoe, I'm glad you enjoyed :-) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou so much Magic, I'm glad you enjoyed this so much! Thankyou for the compliment, it means alot :-) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Dynamaso on
This is a lovely poem and I agree with Shoe - the last stanza is a beauty.

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou greatly Dynamaso, I'm glad you enjoyed :-) Beeme xx

k.