Scentless
By Dynamaso
Tue, 19 Jan 2010
- 1593 reads
5 comments
I woke up under a cloudy veil
but I couldn’t smell a thing.
Every breath I drew was hot and stale
but I couldn’t smell a thing.
I tried to rise and see the cause,
tho’ I couldn’t smell a thing;
best I could manage was on all fours,
still I couldn’t smell a thing.
My eyes stung and filled with tears;
why couldn’t I smell a thing?
Imagination ran with my worst fears;
damned if I could smell a thing.
A sudden noise confirmed the worst
yet couldn’t I smell a thing;
through the door the fire burst
still I couldn’t smell a thing.
Those flames took everything I owned
because I couldn’t smell a thing.
I only wish it’d taken my useless nose
as it can’t smell a bloody thing.
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Comments
As Nathan says, the
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
As Nathan says, the repetition works very well. Made me smile...and think at the same time.
A novel and thought inspiring take on the IP.
Tina
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I agree with Tina and Nathan
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
I agree with Tina and Nathan - the repetition really drives the poem along! Well done on another great poem for the IP ;)
Magic xxx
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