Spoon

"That a spoon, is it?"

"Yes, it's a spoon."

"Don't 'ave many spoons where I come from."

"Do you not. Doesn't that make eating soup rather difficult?"

"Soup! Heh, ha, soup yer say? We don't 'ave soup, not where I come from. Heh, ha. Can't get the spoons, see."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Bit small that spoon, ain't it? Would take a while to eat a bowl o' soup wi' that little thing."

"It's a teaspoon. For removing teabags."

"What d'yer need that for? Yer just use fingers."

"You can hardly put your fingers in boiling water."

"'ot tea? Yer drink 'ot tea? That's disgusting. Bloody toffs, we drink it cold we do, like God intended."

"I said we drinks it cold we do."

"Drinks it cold." "That's not tea though, is it, it's white and funny lookin'."

"No, it's a pot of yoghurt. Look, I've finished it now, why don't you take my spoon, keep it, seeing as you like it so much."

"I don't want yer spoon, rich tosser, thinks he can buy us off with his leftover spoons. Some of us go a lifetime without a spoon, I'll have yer know, and you toss 'em away after every yoggurty snack. I can manage perfliccy well wi'out yer handouts, thank you very much." "Mine you, I'll have five quid if yer got it."