The end of us the end of me

By braintrain

Sun, 18 Jul 2010
  • 712 reads
2 comments
 

She said I was nuts when I jumped in the river
but I was hot and didn't care
it was -33 and i had a fever of 103
I dropped a cannonball down on a sheet of ice
which melted long before I touched it
from my burning heat
I robbed a bank in rush hour traffic next
I was looking crazy now
as I marched down the rows of cars
waving my gun in the air
wearing nothing but a ski mask
and some zebra boxers

It seemed like I had lost my mind
but I was on fire
so I just kept on going

Until I crashed
on a lonely stretch of highway
somewhere between me and you
that was the last time I felt the heat
as you drifted away from me
I froze

Certificate U
Poem
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by kuno-chan on
This is an interesting poem..... I do really like the last stanza: Until I crashed on a lonely stretch of highway somewhere between me and you that was the last time I felt the heat as you drifted away from me I froze i felt that way. I dont know if you are just using it as a metaphor but I think that is a great way to put it in words. ----Kuno-Chan----

----Kuno-Chan----

Submitted by braintrain on
Yeah,the last stanza is the best part of that poem.the rest needs some serious editing.Thanks for the opinion.