WHITE ROSE (I.P.)

Cherry

By kheldar

Thu, 29 Jul 2010
  • 3572 reads
15 comments
 

The yellow sun candescent
Illumes a church crowned hill,
A white clad bride approaches
She shines yet brighter still.

She glides into the churchyard
Passed graves in ordered rows,
No flower left in tribute
Compares to this white rose.

The way divides before her
The church lies to her right,
Yet she takes the left-hand way
Where goes this rose in white?

She stops before a wooden cross
It marks a fresh filled grave,
Her bridegroom lies beneath it
A soldier proud and brave.

One day beyond their wedding
He rode his horse to war,
Just one night together
Yet fate decreed 'no more'.

Her hand slips 'neath her bodice
A knife lies nigh her breast,
She raises it t'ward heaven
Then smites it to her chest.

A single tear slips down one cheek
She's on the cusp of death,
A smile plays upon her lips
She draws her final breath.

So it is this sad white rose
Has said farewell to pain,
Upon her gown of purest white
There blooms a deep, dark stain.
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COPYRIGHT DM PAMMENT 29th JULY 2010

Certificate PG
Poem
THE HUMAN CONDITION
Drama

Comments

Submitted by chooselife on
Great IP piece. Cherry-worthy imo.

 

Submitted by jennifer on
Some lovely imagery and great rhythm here! I think you mean 'past' in the second stanza, however. J x

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Thank you both for your comments, I'll pray the cherry gods take note. Jennifer, re passed/past I was unsure of this and checked in my "Collins English Dictionary" which states that past is often used incorrectly as the past participle of pass - now I'm all confused again (it don't take much!!) Thanks again to you both for reading and for commenting. Kheldar :--)

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Submitted by jennifer on
That's where you fall down the grammar gap between what is 'correct' and what has become 'common usage'. Do not forget that language evolves! I still maintain I am 'correct' in this instance! J x

 

Submitted by Luly Whisper on
I like this. Sad but beautiful.

Submitted by kheldar on
Thank you Luly Whisper for your lovely comment and for reading it in the first place. Kheldar :--)

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Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
David - another masterpiece from your pen and this one surely does tug at the heart strings. Pass the tissues, please;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Hi Tina, Thank you so much for that, the tissues are on their way. David xxx :--)

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Submitted by shoe on
Such beautiful use of language, I was hooked from the first line, has a romantic medieval feel that creates such haunting images.

 

Submitted by kheldar on
Thanks Shirley, for yet again reading, commenting and enjoying. David xx :--)

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Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Kheldar Really enjoyed all of the flow of this,and the intricate story involved.The white rose (IP) beautiful,sad. "Crocodile Tears" yours you helped me with,still not been put in ]'The Big Issue' yet.take care. I've got confused to,can't find either. julie xx

Submitted by kheldar on
Hi Julie, Thank you for enjoying this one. The story grew as I wrote the poem, I knew the dark stain would appear on her dress at the end but I did not know how i was going to get there. That's half the fun i guess. Still keeping my fingers crossed for "Crocodile Tears". David xx

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Submitted by Kahdai on
Kheldar, its lovely! Thank goodness for this time love tragedies can still be done so well! xx

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "

Submitted by kheldar on
Thank you Kahdai, that is one of the nicest comments I have ever received. David xxx

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Submitted by Kahdai on
Wow David am glad, its truely what it made me think! xxx

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "