My Bedroom

Before I enter my bedroom,
I hold my breath
and close my eyes.
Bravely, I stretch my arm
around the door frame
and fumble on the wall
in hope of finding the light switch.

The moments before finding it are tense;
What will my fingers find?
I try to ignore the possibilities,
but the longer I try not to think about it,
the more I do.

My ears are burning in these tense moments,
my eyes close tighter and tighter.
"Just find it, quick!"I repeat to myself.

I find it,
Jabbing my fingers
into the familiar shape.
I miss at first,
still fiercely jabbing away

CLICK.
Listen
for the embedded wires
twitching
in the walls.
You can open your eyes now.

Breathe out, I can see your room,
my room.
I always knew how much I loved that fuzzy carpet
and the warm plum walls.
There's nothing in here after all.

Now, Why did I come in here again?